Top 10 Things I've Recently Learned About Myself

Top 10 Things I've Recently Learned About Myself
(or should have known all along)


10. Garlic really does make me sick.

9. Sometimes I feel extremely awkward and immature and box-shaped.

8. Other times, I just feel old. So this is what it feels like...

7. I like to hear, "Thank you" just as much as the next person. Things like:
Thank you, mom.
Thank you, wife.
Thank you, co-worker

6. I cannot hold a decent conversation while trying to navigate a large vehicle through downtown, in rush over, during a downpour.

5.  Rainy evenings, although not my favorite, are a welcome excuse to stay inside and be completely unproductive. Plus, you know, I've had a long day and I'm just too tired to do laundry.

4. I say that I like pizza, but sometimes I'm not sure it's worth it. It is getting harder and harder to successfully pick off all the cheese.

3. White kitchen cabinets, when made of quality materials, really aren't so bad.

2. If I would invest in some Breathe Right strips, my life would be forever changed by my ability to... breathe right.

1. Iron supplements are still necessary, even though it has been 20 months since Ryan was born.

Little to big...

I was cleaning out my inbox this afternoon and came across a picture of Rachel that was taken over two years ago. She's so little. And adorable. And Little. 

I can't believe that we have already gone from this little lady...

To this...

Just kidding.

Although some days it does feel like we are living with a teenager who no longer thinks we are cool. 

At least I still have one little person. May he stay this little for a bit longer...

Thanks to my aunt Sylvia for the pictures. 

I dress like a mom, and that's okay...

While waiting in line for my coffee this morning I noticed the woman next to me was extremely well dressed. Despite the massive windstorm that raged outside, her hair was pulled into a neat, tidy bun, and every single thing on her person perfectly matched. Even her cell phone was the same glittery silver as her earrings.

Much like this...

I, myself, wasn't dressed too terribly. You know, the standard sweater and dresspants combo that comes out when the weather turns cold, again.

Sort of along the lines of this...

Not so bad, right?

Almost immediately I felt frumpy and immature.

Like I was sporting this instead...

I looked at the lady, at how well dressed she was, and wondered...what is this woman bad at? Certainly she has a flaw. Right? But, what could her flaw possibly be? She's perfect!

And then, it happened.

I found her flaw, right there in the Starbucks line. Suddenly she wasn't so perfect anymore.

And neither was her matching purse.

Because, most, if not all, "perfect purses" do not hold...
items that are not paid for.

Thanks, well-dressed lady, for making us "sweater-wearing-moms" feel not so bad about ourselves.

Caution, scary things ahead...

This morning I read an article about another two-year-old boy who was strangled by the blind cords in his bedroom. The story was heart-wrenching and I immediately panicked as I pictured the blinds in our bedrooms, cords hanging down to the ground in a seemingly harmless pile. Even though my mind knew that Ryan was at daycare, safe and sound, my heart wanted to rush home, rip the blinds off the windows, and burn them.Today. Like, right now.

But, instead, I wrote a reminder to myself on a post-it note and stuck it to my phone...where all of the important reminders go. The note says only, "blinds in bedrooms" but what it means is, "How could I have forgotten about those deadly blind cords, lurking in our bedrooms?! Why have we been tempting fate for so long? I should be on my knees thanking the Good Lord that my children haven't found those stupid things."

There are so many things in this big, big world that are dangerous for children, but I try not to dwell on that too much. After all, there has to be a happy medium between following our children around for the next 18 years, and throwing all caution to the wind, relying on fate to get our little ones into adulthood.

The spiritual and emotional health of my children is also on my mind quite often. I wonder if they are going to be productive members of society, able to hold a good job, raise a family of their own, and be active in their church and community. I want them to be happy.

But, what if....they aren't?

I cannot even begin to fathom what a surgeon must be thinking when they have someone's life in their hands. That's why I am not a doctor (Okay, so I'm sure that isn't the only reason that I'm not a doctor). I would never want that much responsibility.

News Flash...

I'm a parent. Responsibility is what I signed up for.
Ugh...the weight on my shoulders just got a little bit heavier...

On the radio this morning I heard a daily devotional about the importance of sharing our struggles and fears with each other. That we aren't in this alone.

Did you feel that? The weight, it just got lighter. My children are technically (according to the state) my dependents; they rely on Jake and I, their parents for everything. However, they also belong to God and our church and our family, and they have all promised to help us raise them, to also love and protect them.

And that makes those blinds, and all of the other scary things in this world, a little less frightening.

Riding in cars with boys (and fear)...

When I was 15 I totaled my car. I had just dropped by boyfriend off at work (driving illegally, I might add), and was on my way back to school when I hit loose gravel. My first instinct was to immediately stomp on the breaks, which, of course, turned out to be a horrible idea. The car swerved off the road, hit a culvert, and flew through the air before finally coming to rest on its side.

I had been wearing my seat belt earlier but had removed it so I could rummage through the car to look for some Tylenol. I remember thinking that I should probably put it back on but, lest we forget how old I was... 15.

So, returning to the car situation we note that I was not wearing a seat belt, had lost control of the vehicle, and was flying through the air. Once the car hit the ground, on its side, I fell to the passenger seat and hit the window out with my head. And, yet, somehow, I managed to walk back to my boyfriend for help.

I learned two things in that accident:
1. Seat belts are not optional
2. It only takes a few seconds to lose control of a vehicle

I will never forget the fear that gripped me as I lost control of my car. Which is rather unfortunate because to this day, I am terrified of losing control while driving. Or, someone else losing control.
And when you combine that fear with my decreased vision I find myself almost paralyzed when trying to drive on roads that have snow on them.

So, you can only imagine how enjoyable this winter has been for me.
The other day I discovered a map on our local TV station's website that shows where the snow plows are. Some of them are even equipped with cameras so you can see just how crappy the roads really are.

I am so thankful that I didn't know about this map any earlier because it would have made winter that much worse.

I worry about the roads.
I worry about my family's safety on the roads.
I worry about...just about anything that I don't have control over.

Last night at worship team practice my concerns were put into perspective when a friend said,
"Your family is safer in God's hands than in yours"

My Aha Moment for the week.

Thirteen years...

A few weeks ago I marked 13 years of being gainfully employed at the same institution by, um, forgetting about it. In fact, it wasn't until a week later that I realized my anniversary date had come and gone and life was pretty much still the same.

Tomorrow, March 1st, I will mark another milestone in my professional career. Tomorrow I will be promoted. My job won't change. My duties and responsibilities won't change. But, my classification will change and I will climb one more rung up the ladder.

When the news came that my promotion had been approved I was, of course, excited. But, as the day wore on I found myself reminiscing about the past 13 years of my life here...

1. When I applied to work here the list of openings was not online. Instead, prospective employees called a phone number every day to hear the advertised positions. Applications were accepted only in person at the central HR office and then mailed to departments from there.

2. My very first paycheck, which comes monthly, was $1200. I was thrilled to be making so much money and managed to pay all of my bills, buy groceries and still have money left over to see a movie or put the extra away in savings.

3. I used to live about a mile from work. I could walk when the weather was nice, got to work 15-30 minutes before the office opened, walked over my lunch break, ran after work, and took all of my breaks. Every. Single. Day.

4. Yeah...number 3 is pretty much the complete opposite of what I do now. And, number 2.. extra? What is this "extra" money that you speak of?

5. In 13 years I have worked in four different departments and held six different jobs. I once worked during the summer as a student employee while I was in college. My job? I packed and unpacked cases used for eyeball donation. Did you catch that? I unpacked eyeballs.

6. When people around here talk about "blue reqs" and "watermark paper" and "life before the online workflow system" I actually know what they are talking about.

7.  I have held other jobs, finished school, studied for certification, planned big events, experienced major life changes and gained at least 40 pounds during my 13 years here.

8. The student employees that I once supervised are now married and have children. That just makes me feel old.

9. During my time here I have: survived historical flooding, observed as fire destroyed a campus landmark, feared being laid off because of massive cuts in state funding, experienced the implementation and update of electronic systems (both medical and student-related), and witnessed the aftermath of a devastating tornado. Just to name a few things.

10. Thirteen years ago coffee had only been necessary during late-night study sessions in college. Now... I am a gold card member of Starbucks.

Wedding showers, surgeries, baby showers, graduation parties, funerals, Christmas parties, tailgates, open houses, shopping trips, prayers, moving, shedding tears, embarrassing moments, house-warming parties, speeches, retirement parties, hospital visits... have all, at some point, been experienced with co-workers.

So, anyway, tomorrow starts the next chapter of my employment story.

Here's to the next 40 years.

More on potty training...

I have written roughly a million posts about our struggles with potty training Rachel. We started working on potty training a few weeks after she turned two. She turned four about a month ago...and we are still struggling.

There isn't a single suggestion that someone can give us that we have not already tried. We have tried everything. Everything. And each time we think we have finally made it, we are yet again, disappointed to learn that Rachel is still not quite there yet.

I once read that potty training is not a reflection of good or bad parenting because, after all, it is the child's accomplishment, not the parent's. And yet, for over two years now I have felt like I must be the worst, most incompetent parent. Ever. I mean, there are serial killers and drug dealers who have potty trained their child faster than me.

So, you say this too shall pass....will it pass in less than six months? I hope so because I signed Rachel up for soccer this summer and filled out an application for preschool. So, we're pretty much married to this whole "my child needs to get potty trained" thing.