March 28, 2014

Caution, scary things ahead...

This morning I read an article about another two-year-old boy who was strangled by the blind cords in his bedroom. The story was heart-wrenching and I immediately panicked as I pictured the blinds in our bedrooms, cords hanging down to the ground in a seemingly harmless pile. Even though my mind knew that Ryan was at daycare, safe and sound, my heart wanted to rush home, rip the blinds off the windows, and burn them.Today. Like, right now.

But, instead, I wrote a reminder to myself on a post-it note and stuck it to my phone...where all of the important reminders go. The note says only, "blinds in bedrooms" but what it means is, "How could I have forgotten about those deadly blind cords, lurking in our bedrooms?! Why have we been tempting fate for so long? I should be on my knees thanking the Good Lord that my children haven't found those stupid things."

There are so many things in this big, big world that are dangerous for children, but I try not to dwell on that too much. After all, there has to be a happy medium between following our children around for the next 18 years, and throwing all caution to the wind, relying on fate to get our little ones into adulthood.

The spiritual and emotional health of my children is also on my mind quite often. I wonder if they are going to be productive members of society, able to hold a good job, raise a family of their own, and be active in their church and community. I want them to be happy.

But, what if....they aren't?

I cannot even begin to fathom what a surgeon must be thinking when they have someone's life in their hands. That's why I am not a doctor (Okay, so I'm sure that isn't the only reason that I'm not a doctor). I would never want that much responsibility.

News Flash...

I'm a parent. Responsibility is what I signed up for.
Ugh...the weight on my shoulders just got a little bit heavier...

On the radio this morning I heard a daily devotional about the importance of sharing our struggles and fears with each other. That we aren't in this alone.

Did you feel that? The weight, it just got lighter. My children are technically (according to the state) my dependents; they rely on Jake and I, their parents for everything. However, they also belong to God and our church and our family, and they have all promised to help us raise them, to also love and protect them.

And that makes those blinds, and all of the other scary things in this world, a little less frightening.

March 7, 2014

Riding in cars with boys (and fear)...

When I was 15 I totaled my car. I had just dropped by boyfriend off at work (driving illegally, I might add), and was on my way back to school when I hit loose gravel. My first instinct was to immediately stomp on the breaks, which, of course, turned out to be a horrible idea. The car swerved off the road, hit a culvert, and flew through the air before finally coming to rest on its side.

I had been wearing my seat belt earlier but had removed it so I could rummage through the car to look for some Tylenol. I remember thinking that I should probably put it back on but, lest we forget how old I was... 15.

So, returning to the car situation we note that I was not wearing a seat belt, had lost control of the vehicle, and was flying through the air. Once the car hit the ground, on its side, I fell to the passenger seat and hit the window out with my head. And, yet, somehow, I managed to walk back to my boyfriend for help.

I learned two things in that accident:
1. Seat belts are not optional
2. It only takes a few seconds to lose control of a vehicle

I will never forget the fear that gripped me as I lost control of my car. Which is rather unfortunate because to this day, I am terrified of losing control while driving. Or, someone else losing control.
And when you combine that fear with my decreased vision I find myself almost paralyzed when trying to drive on roads that have snow on them.

So, you can only imagine how enjoyable this winter has been for me.
The other day I discovered a map on our local TV station's website that shows where the snow plows are. Some of them are even equipped with cameras so you can see just how crappy the roads really are.

I am so thankful that I didn't know about this map any earlier because it would have made winter that much worse.

I worry about the roads.
I worry about my family's safety on the roads.
I worry about...just about anything that I don't have control over.

Last night at worship team practice my concerns were put into perspective when a friend said,
"Your family is safer in God's hands than in yours"

My Aha Moment for the week.