January 31, 2011

I forgot...

I have weathered a lot of embarrassing moments in my life. I have tripped over things in public, mistaken complete strangers for friends, spouted off inappropriate comments, dealt with bad hair days and horrible wardrobe choices, displayed poor judgement, and the list goes on and on.... But, I'm not alone. We all have shameful moments that we wish could be erased. I have been dreading a certain embarrassing moment for many many months and the inevitable finally happened last night....I forgot about my child.

Some of you might be asking, are you kidding? You forgot about your kid? What's WRONG with you lady? Hey, like I've said before, no judging. And besides, it's not like I left her somewhere. In fact, it was just the opposite...I forgot NOT to take her with us to a party last night. It didn't even dawn on me that I had failed to find a sitter until we got there and no one else had their kids with them. A feeling of panic came over me when I realized that I hadn't followed through on my reminder to call someone to watch her, and I could still see the note sitting on my counter...unread, of course.

Talk about an embarrassing experience. We were "those" parents- you know, the ones whose kid is opening presents that don't belong to them, messing with stereo equipment and fireplace embers, and throwing a tired-induced fit in the middle of the living room. I'm just SURE that everyone was thinking...geez, why is she here in the first place? And, to top it off I also forgot to pack a bottle. I know, I'm a horrible mother. This is not news.

Either way, she was quite a trooper, despite the fact that her mommy is an idiot. Don't worry baby girl, mommy will get better. I promise. Although, I have to admit, I can't promise too much. After all, this is the same mother who forgot to buy bottles BEFORE we came home from the hospital. SIGH.....

January 26, 2011

Raspberries for Rachel...

Rachel apparently LOVES raspberries, as we discovered a few weeks ago....

and P.S. Yes, they stained her face and her fingers and her arms and...you get the idea.

January 25, 2011

I never...

Don't get too excited folks, this isn't some college-level drinking game post. Instead, I would like to take this opportunity to showcase the fact that I was not born in a barn...last night...on the back of a turnip truck. Which is more than I can say for several of the people who I have encountered today.

I never...

1. Pee on the seat of a toilet or leave a used feminine product on the floor of a public restroom.

2. Use the last piece of paper in the main office printer and then continue to do the same in the other printer...and then leave both of them setting empty so the next poor schmuck has to get on their hands and knees to look for and load paper into both machines before they can print one stinkin’ report.

3. Let my work Visa run out and then make someone else contact the US Department of Homeland Security so they can complete the paperwork for me (If I was required to have a work Visa I can guarantee you that I would NOT do this).

4. Drink the last drop of coffee before 9:00 AM and "forget" to make more for the rest of the office.

5. Leave my dirty dish in the sink for a week until someone else gets tired of having to look at it and washes it for me.

6. Ask someone to order more paper without looking in the supply closet first- where there is at least 50,000 reams just sitting there waiting to be used, unbeknownst to the poor misinformed schmo who has to take time out of their busy day to order more paper. STAT.

7. Open all of the packages of address labels and use only the one in the top left-hand corner because I don't want to ask someone how to print labels on a different section of the page.

8. Leave my rotten vegetables in the office fridge.

9. Forget how to take a phone message and relay only the fact that someone called and is looking for more information about one of our programs, but I'm not sure which one.

10. Assume that my co-workers are always in their office and never have anything else to do but return my emails, take my phone calls, or follow-up on my requests.

WHAT is WRONG with people? I swear, some day when I'm President of the world all of the stupid, mean, rotten, disgusting, small-minded, lazy, smelly people better watch out....

January 20, 2011

The first year...

I REALLY wanted to participate in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop today but I also wanted to post pictures of my little Rachel and I was so torn because I just don't have time to do both. Sooooo....I'm cheating...just a little bit....

Winter around here is snowy and cold and you really don't want to see pictures of utter wasteland so...winter at OUR house means that it's time to celebrate our daughter's birthday.

Welcome to the photo journal of what winter looks like at our house...

Can you believe that in just a few short weeks (okay, maybe months but come on, who's counting?) my little "baby" went from this...

to this...

and this...

Birthday Party Time!

The birthday girl with her battle wound. Couch-to-floor:1 Rachel:0

The cake: Not homemade- I know, another "mommy failure" to chalk up with the rest. oh well...

The presents- Out. Of. Control.

Does it get any better than cake and home made ice cream? Nope.

She LOVES this thing...except that she loves it so much that we are constantly digging Little People and other random objects out of it. Last night I fished the remote out.

I had no idea that a kid this young possessed the ability to "smile" for a camera. She always knows when there's a camera around.

So, until next year....

At the rate she's growing, I feel like this might the "party" next year.

To my Pooh Bear- Don't grow up too fast!

January 18, 2011

Hello, is there anybody out there, just nod if you can hear me...

I'm sure there is some wise old-lady saying out there somewhere that references the fact that if you talk to yourself a lot than you must be talking too much. To that I say, whatever.

I can not imagine trying to accomplish my daily tasks or working on solving the world's problems without the luxury of having someone to talk to all the time about everything. I mean, my goodness, God gave me two ears- one to listen to others and one to listen to myself- so I might as well use them, yes?

However, I have to wonder, while I'm weaving my intra-personal web of communication does anyone else ever listen to and actually comprehend what I am saying? Or, better yet, do they care? Are they learning from me or finding my information to be helpful? Isn't that what a blog is...a chance to chat it up with your most favorite person of all...yourself?

A few weeks ago I spoke to our church youth group and afterwards I couldn't tell if they were on the edge of their seats waiting for more, or if they were just trying to see who could bolt out the door the fastest. I hope they learned a little something. I don't know if what I said made any sense or left any kind of lasting impression. After all, the speech I gave to them sounded like a well-written Presidential address in my mind but as I spit the words out I realized they more closely resembled a Sesame Street skit than a speech. ouch.
Wouldn't that be great if we could actually say what we mean, regardless of who the audience is? I would love it if the advice I give to myself sounded half as poetic once it leaves my lips. sigh....

P.S. Or, if you don't want to listen to me chat you can wait just a bit and I'll try to get some pictures from Rachel's birthday party posted soon.

January 14, 2011

Labor and delivery, day 3...

The (abridged) Story of Rachel's 34-Hour Labor and Delivery...

Day 3:

January 14, 2010

The last day begins...

Midnight- Honestly, I have no idea where the time went or how my husband and nurse were able to put up with my inability to handle back-labor with flying colors. I know that at some point I threw-up all of the red Popsicles that I had eaten earlier. great.

4:00ish AM- It was around this time (and to make a long story short)that I had to sign paperwork to have an emergency c-section. I remember asking the doctor if I could have a drink of water on the way into the operating room and I can still see the look on his face when he leaned over, laughed evilly, and said, "No moron, you're going into SURGERY." That guy was awesome!

4:38 AM- I remember the pain. That is what I remember the most. My back was in so much pain as I laid there, waiting to hear my baby. The other thing I remember is the sound I heard...the sound of my baby crying, for the first time ever. I asked if that sounds was my baby and my husband, who had stood next to me and watched the entire operation, confirmed that yes, our daughter had been born. I didn't get to see her right away because the specialty doctors had to check her first but I will never forget the first time I saw that beautiful little girl. She was perfect and she STILL IS.

8:00 AM- We finally got moved into our mother-baby room, which was by far the biggest room on the floor...finally we caught a break! My twin brother was her first visitor. He happened to be in town for a few days and held off his trip home for a few hours so he could meet his new niece. What a special time that was!

So, you ask, was it all worth it? Sure, look at this beautiful little kid!

January 13, 2011

Labor and delivery, day 2...

The (abridged) Story of Rachel's 34-Hour Labor and Delivery...

Day 2:

January 13, 2010

So, after a LONG painful night my second day in labor begins...

7:00 AM: I deserve (to try) to get more sleep so I call work and let them know that I won't be in until Noon.

9:00 AM: My mother calls. She wants to know why I'm not at work so I tell her the whole story and she tells me to call my doctor if I'm still in pain.

9:45 AM: The only appointment my doctor's office has is at 9:45. So, we RUSH around to get ready and all I can think about is...man, I didn't shower this morning..I should have showered yesterday. yuck! Somehow I get Captain Obvious as my nurse and she looks at me and asks, "Are you expecting?" Geez, lady...really? Am I so fat that you can't tell? I inform her that yes, I am expecting and in fact could be delivering any day now. After a quick check, the doctor declares that I am at 2 cm and since I wasn't that far along the previous evening they send me to Labor and Delivery for observation.

11:00 AM: My water FINALLY breaks and we all get ready for a baby!

1:30 PM: The epidural...alright! I take a nice snooze, check the monitor, and laugh as I watch the contractions come and go. Oh, if only I knew.... Jake takes this opportunity to watch a few movies- "Aliens" is among them.

3:30 PM: For some reason the epidural isn't working as well anymore. I can feel pain. I don't want to feel pain. So, I push the button.....a lot. Oops. I can't feel my legs anymore and won't feel them again for several hours. This is also about the time we realize that Rachel is face up (head down) and we get ready for a difficult delivery.

??????: I have no idea where the time goes and what's going on but I can tell you that the #$%^ hit the fan sometime in the afternoon. I have never been in so much pain! My back hurts so so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad and to combat the pain, Jake spends the entire rest of the labor process applying pressure to my lower back.

9:00 PM: My family calls to let us know that they have all put bets on the delivery time. My 5-year-old nephew guesses 2:00. He'll be the closest.

9:30 PM: I finally hit 8 cm, and my doctors are becoming increasinly worried that I won't have enough energy when it comes time to push. Meanwhile, I continue to scream in pain and moan in frustration...most fun patient ever, I'm sure.

Midnight: We all watch as Midnight comes and goes and I'm still not dilated past 8 cm and we all start to wonder how much longer this can possibly go on.

And thus endth the second day...

January 12, 2011

Labor and delivery, day 1...

The (abridged) Story of Rachel's 34-Hour Labor and Delivery...

Day 1:

January 12, 2010

2:00 PM- I come across a free pair of tickets to a Hawkeye basketball game. We decide we're both too tired to go anywhere that night so we find someone else to take the tickets (good call).

6:15 PM- I suspect that my water broke so I call the hospital. It takes awhile to convince them that I have NOT just peed my pants and by 7:00 we are on our way . That's when the contractions begin.

After several hours of poking and prodding and waiting and watching and observing, the on-call staff determine that I am in pre-labor and will, more than likely, NOT go into labor for at least one, possibly two, more weeks.

Midnight- We finally get released to go home, and since the contractions are too much for me to sleep through Jake literally tears our kitchen apart looking for sleeping pills that I was given about a month earlier.

Sometime between 1:00 - 2:00 AM- I finally fall asleep.

And thus endth the first day...

January 11, 2011

My first guest post...

Today is a big day for me. Today I graduate from a blogger to a Blogger. It's not a big change, but it's still quite exciting (I think).

Julia, from Work, Wife, Mom...Life, (one of my most favorite working mom blogs) has allowed me to guest post on her blog and TODAY is the day that it is posted. How fun!

So, if you want to know what my three favorite Christmas gifts were then, by all means, please head over and read my post at
Work, Wife, Mom...Life- "Give Something Better".

Oh, and Renea and Theresa- you especially might want to check it out. (wink wink).

Have a great week everyone!

January 6, 2011

Don't you, forget about me...

Yes, I'm alive.
Yes, I'm still blogging.
Yes, I still have lots of ideas for future posts.
Yes, I'm crazy busy right now.
Yes, I was at work past 9:00 last night (yuck!)
No, I haven't posted anything in awhile but...

Yes, I miss you all!

Please don't leave me. I'll be back as soon as possible. I promise!