January 25, 2011

I never...

Don't get too excited folks, this isn't some college-level drinking game post. Instead, I would like to take this opportunity to showcase the fact that I was not born in a barn...last night...on the back of a turnip truck. Which is more than I can say for several of the people who I have encountered today.

I never...

1. Pee on the seat of a toilet or leave a used feminine product on the floor of a public restroom.

2. Use the last piece of paper in the main office printer and then continue to do the same in the other printer...and then leave both of them setting empty so the next poor schmuck has to get on their hands and knees to look for and load paper into both machines before they can print one stinkin’ report.

3. Let my work Visa run out and then make someone else contact the US Department of Homeland Security so they can complete the paperwork for me (If I was required to have a work Visa I can guarantee you that I would NOT do this).

4. Drink the last drop of coffee before 9:00 AM and "forget" to make more for the rest of the office.

5. Leave my dirty dish in the sink for a week until someone else gets tired of having to look at it and washes it for me.

6. Ask someone to order more paper without looking in the supply closet first- where there is at least 50,000 reams just sitting there waiting to be used, unbeknownst to the poor misinformed schmo who has to take time out of their busy day to order more paper. STAT.

7. Open all of the packages of address labels and use only the one in the top left-hand corner because I don't want to ask someone how to print labels on a different section of the page.

8. Leave my rotten vegetables in the office fridge.

9. Forget how to take a phone message and relay only the fact that someone called and is looking for more information about one of our programs, but I'm not sure which one.

10. Assume that my co-workers are always in their office and never have anything else to do but return my emails, take my phone calls, or follow-up on my requests.

WHAT is WRONG with people? I swear, some day when I'm President of the world all of the stupid, mean, rotten, disgusting, small-minded, lazy, smelly people better watch out....


  1. I was excited that this was a college game. Very disappointed to find out it wasn't the "I never" I was thinking of. I, unfortunately, am guilty of number 5. I hate to do dishes.

  2. I worked somewhere that someone did the vegetable thing all the time. I finally put on a note on the fridge that read, "please get your slimy, nasty spinach out of the refrigerator. It stinks." Just gross.

  3. Number 5 reminds me of my collage days. Glad those are over. People CAN be so gross!

    Visiting from SITS.

  4. Amen Ashley Marie! I do NOT miss my college days (but I do miss that wardrobe). :)

    Theresa- this is the "old married working lady" version of this. :)

    Jennifer- Good idea! I should try that!

  5. Left a pile of dishes in the sink this morning and thought of you. To be fair, the dishwasher was full and running last night when I piled up the rest of the dishes. Guess I should have washed them by hand.

  6. ahahahahahaaa...that is hilarious...wash by hand? Are you nuts?! :) We often have enough dishes in our sink at home to fill the dish washer twice. When that happens it REALLY sucks when the soap door thing doesn't flip open because it's too full and you have to do whole first load all over again. oh the drama, right? :)

    P.S. You saw dirty dishes and thought of me? That too is HI-larious! love it!

  7. P.S. Funny story...
    I'm actually eating soup, at this very moment, from a bowl that got thrown in our sink at work and after it sat there for several days I washed it and claimed it as my own!

  8. Amen sitster!!! Dishes? Really? Who else is going to do them?

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

  9. Honestly, how do these people survive?