June 30, 2011

Come on, challenge me...

What do you find most challenging about blogging?
- Inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

In every aspect of my life I have a problem with comparing myself to others. I look at other women in my office who are my age and wonder how they got to be so successful so quickly. In conversations with my friends (who happen to be SAHMs or some kind of hybrid of that and a part-time working mom) I hear about all of the crafts they're making and new recipes they're trying and my heart sinks because I don't have time to craft and very seldom have a meal ready when we get home from work, much less one made from a fun new recipe. When I see new or "almost" new moms who are fit and beautiful and well put-together I look at my own chubby awkward self and wish that just once I could be the hot mom.

So, when it comes to blogging I also compare myself to others. A lot. I compare my simple writing style to other more eloquent blogs. I compare my irregular postings to others who write every day...even on weekends! I compare my content to other working moms and wonder how in the world they do it all and then have time to blog about it (a small part of me hopes that most of them are embellishing the truth just a bit to make for a better story- that this perfection that some mom bloggers speak of doesn't actually exist).

Comparing myself to others has always been a struggle and when I became a mom it got worse. And then I started blogging....and took it to a whole new level.


After almost a year of blogging I have learned to control the beast, at least most of the time. I can't say that I never compare myself to others (in good or bad ways) but that's not what blogging is about. At least not for me. Blogging is about telling stories, and getting my thoughts in order, and taking a moment for myself, and....having fun!


Rest assured that this isn't my only struggle. Some days I get annoyed with how unorganized my blog is or freak out because I can't seem to think of ANYTHING to write about or....actually...the list goes on and on.

And honestly, right now my biggest struggle isn't blog-related at all. I'm wearing a new pair of adorable strappy sandals that I found in my closet this morning and I am finding out very quickly that the "fun" straps are not so fun after all.

June 29, 2011

Its time to eat...

Someone, anyone, please help.

How on God's green Earth do you get a child to EAT?

Rachel hasn't been eating well for about a month now and we have been told my numerous people (and parenting books- yes I have to admit that I own a few) that we need not worry, that she'll eat when she's hungry. So, please enlighten me, how soon might we expect this surge in consumption to occur?

She has been sick the last few days but when her temperature finally broke on Monday we kind of hoped that she would beg us to buy her a Big Mac. No such luck. We're suspecting that her total calorie intake since Friday (4 days ago) is around 1,000- and that includes milk. Yes, she was sick for part of that time. But, yesterday she was fine...and all she ate was a single pee (fresh from my garden of course), peanut butter that she licked off a cracker, and a few pieces of assorted cereals that we have. Yikes! Right?

Maybe our daycare provider, whom Rachel just adores, will have some kind of magic touch and get her to eat.

I hope so. True to form, I'm worried about her.

June 24, 2011

"Baby" Rachel...

Because it's Friday (and I need a break from reading horribly written applications) I'm posting a picture of my little Rachel, who isn't really a baby anymore but this morning she referred to herself as such ("Baby Rae Rae")... and our hearts melted.

Lie to me...

I've been lied to. I don't think it was intentional, in fact it may have just been a desperate (and innocent) attempt by my coworkers to ease my mind.

Last fall when I applied for this position I noticed the job description was basically a photocopy of our institution's general description for this job title. That should have been my first sign that something was odd. But, I missed it or better yet, shrugged it off as nothing.

Then came my first interview. They told me the position was new and would be located in a newly renovated office with people who were all fairly new to our organization who would be working to start several new programs and initiatives on campus. I didn't completely shrug the oddness of that off but instead choose to rename the position as an "exciting opportunity".

At my second interview they showed me my office. It was a struggle to open the door because the room was full of boxes...of what I'll lovingly call "crap". Instead of hearing warning bells I pictured myself in my own office...with it's very own door AND window. The vision apparently clouded my thought process and I left feeling fabulous about my new job.

On my first day, before I had computer access or even knew what my phone number was, I hit the ground running and started working. By that time it was starting to sink in..." What have I gotten myself into?", I wondered.

Then, the job duties and assignments began rolling in. I had back-to-back meetings and training sessions...and through it all I was overjoyed at the thought of having my own office...with a window.

After awhile it became obvious that my "exciting opportunity" was also very much a "new stressful job". My coworkers, being the dears that they are, assured me that summer months are slow and are a good time to work on large projects. So, I put several things off until June and went on my merry way.

Here's where the lie part comes in. Summer sucks.

Summer is not slow. It is not a time to work on over-due projects nor is it a time to plan on being less stressed. It is, in fact, the opposite of that.

Yes I still love my job and my office with a window but I am beginning to believe that, along with Miami (sorry folks), during the summer my office is a portal to hell.

June 16, 2011

This is ladies night...

Welcome to another entry inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop!

Girls Night Out! Describe the last time you got to hang out with your friends. What stops you from doing this more often?

I had a Girls Night Out a few weeks ago and it was just fabulous. I mean, you can't go wrong with half-price wine hour and sushi with the ladies.

Why don't I do that more often you ask?

Well, here's why...

Time flies. Where does it go, why does it move so quickly, and how do you schedule anything with such a limited amount of it?

Okay, I'll be honest. Sometimes I would rather be doing this than going out with the girls. And, as an added bonus, I would like to look this good while I'm asleep (or awake for that matter).

I hate money, mainly because we never seem to have enough of it. We have 40,000 trees in our yard and not a single one grows cash. What a crock.

As a full-time working mom, I only have about 12 hours a week to spend with my little gal. And sometimes... she is the only lady I really need.

Sometimes. I said sometimes.

June 14, 2011

Rachel's first trip...

Wow! Where have I been? I missed an entire week on my blog. Geez....

In my defense, it's been quite a busy week.

Last Monday: I had eye surgery. I'll spare you the long drawn-out story. I've been legally blind in my left eye since I was 15 and last week the final surgery was done to restore as much vision as possible. So far....it's a bit better but let's keep praying.

Tuesday: I'll be honest. My plan was to not do a single thing- doctors orders. But, I got bored watching too much TV and cleaned out the pantry.

Wednesday: Still not able to lift over 20 pounds so that meant no holding Rachel. That was extremely hard to do. Have you any idea how much I love to hold my little Pooh Bear?! I was, however, glad to get back to work for a few days.

Thursday: Work. Work. More work. You know the drill.

Friday: Family trip to the zoo! And when I say family I mean all 15 of us. And what did my little princess pick out from the gift shop? A stuffed snake. sigh....

Saturday: Family stuff and a wedding. A special shout out (do they still do those?) to my niece and her friend for watching all of the kids (ages 9 months to 11 years- only 1 girl in that mix) while the "adults" attended a wedding.

Sunday: More family stuff followed by naps for everyone and then family stuff again.

Monday: Even more family stuff. Lots of fun but I think we're all just a little bit glad to be back on schedule.

Family stuff can really wear a person out. And you know what else can really wear someone out? A trip....down the stairs. Poor Rachel. At least they were carpeted. Plus, she was quite a trooper. I think mommy cried more than she did.

June 3, 2011

Mark 10: 51-52

Mark 10: 51-52 (New Living Translation version)

51 “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.

“My rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!”

52 And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.

Mark 10: 51-52 (My Version)

51 "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked.

"God, I've been through so much and have had so many eye surgeries that didn't go well. I believe that you can restore my vision. Please God, I WANT TO SEE!"

52 And hopefully God will say, "You're right Angie. Close your right eye and look at your daughter's smile through your left eye....for the first time."

Prayers on Monday would be appreciated.