May 30, 2012

The 26-week ultrasound update...

First the good news...the blessing...the "THANK YOU JESUS!" moment...our baby boy is healthy and apparently quite content with curling up in a ball to sleep. It took some extra poking and pushing to get him to wake up and move but we eventually got to see the heart and kidneys and everything else that makes for a healthy baby.

And just to be sure, we checked again and yes, this time I am most certainly convinced that we are having a boy.

Unfortunately the placenta has not corrected and is still too low to allow for a safe delivery. So, it looks like we'll be scheduling our C-section for sometime in early to mid-August instead of closer to the due date of September 5. We have another ultrasound scheduled for early July and after that appointment the doctors will make their final decision on just how soon baby should come.

Yes, this is quite common.
Yes, the doctors are confident that everything will turn out alright.
Yes, I'm still terrified.

I have friends and loved ones (which, really, are the same people) who have gone through much worse than this and come out on the other side so I feel kind of silly for being worried. But still, it's an awful helpless feeling to know that something is coming that I can see (kind of) but not some idiot is playing horror movie music in my head and the little voice in my brain is going crazy with advice. Turn around! Don't open that door! Are you crazy; do you think that hiding under the bed is safe? You know it's coming; why don't you do something?!

One thing is certain though. There is nothing quite like a visit to the hospital to remind me of just how blessed I am:
I have a job.
I have enough sense not to wear pajama pants in public, even if I'm pregnant.
I have good health insurance.
I have a husband who can come with me to my appointments.
I have a husband.
I have a healthy happy home.
I have the ability to give my children a healthy happy home.
I have access to world-renowned health care in my back yard.
I have easy access to one of just a handful of doctors in this state who can preform C-sections.

And perhaps most importantly...
I have a healthy baby growing inside of me.

So right now we're counting our blessings and the weeks until baby comes.

May 29, 2012

A quick update...

I have no idea if I have been missed or not. I need to post some pictures, tell you what I've been up to, and beg for forgiveness for allowing my blog life to fall apart.

But first, I need to collect my sanity which is lost somewhere between my slightly overwhelming work schedule and my currently crazy busy home life.

Once I can cross that off my list (you know how much I just love to cross things off to-do lists) I'm hoping to find some time to catch up.

In the meantime, tomorrow is our ultrasound to see how the whole placenta situation is looking. I'll try to find a few moments after my appointment to let you all know just how many prayers we'll be needing over the next few months.

But, until then....have a fabulous rest of your day!

May 10, 2012

Our current life in pictures...

There is always room for Jerry Giraffe.

A little tiny girl with her great big kite.

Time for some help from still ended up in the tallest tree on the farm.

I just had to get a picture of my old-fashioned rose bush this year. BEAU-ti-Ful!

Finally, the front of our house is starting to look like someone is actually taking care of the place. By the way...nope, I'm not a fan of the brown but what can you do when it's just a rental?

One last parting shot of my little Rachel.

May 3, 2012

I can cry if I want to...

Up until about a week ago I hadn't noticed anything too strange when it comes to my ability (or inability) to control my emotions.


Apparently that has changed. A lot.

I have been crying about everything lately. I cry when I talk to Rachel. I cry when I talk about Rachel. I cry when I talk to my husband. I cry when I talk about my husband. Basically I cry when I talk about anyone or anything that I love. I'm a complete basket case.

I don't remember having this problem the last time I was pregnant, and I can't quite wrap my head around this new thing that I have no control over. It bugs me that I can't just tell myself to toughen up...I tried that and it made me cry. Good Lord!

And the thing that bugs me the most is that I, apparently, still don't look pregnant so to those who have no idea what's going on...I have no excuse for my actions. I need to carry a sign that says, "Why? Because I'm pregnant." That would cover just about everything: why I cry, why I waddle, why I eat strange food, why I complain about the horrible May heat, etc.

Or, maybe I'll just start wearing really tight clothing so my big belly shows and then everyone will, no doubt, know why a walk across the street made me cry.