Baby eczema...

You know how sometimes you have those days when you feel like the worst mother ever?

I'm having one of those days.

Poor little Ryan; it has been one thing after another with that little guy (this must be payback for Rachel- the child who has only been to the doctor for routine exams).

A few weeks ago his little cheeks started to get red and bumps appeared, which we assumed to be your standard baby eczema. Rachel had this too and I didn't really do very much to treat it because it never got any worse, appeared only on her face, and went away after about a month.

So when those familiar red bumps began to show up on Ryan we felt bad that he would look a little red in holiday pictures and went on our merry way.

Enter the "horrible mother"

About a week ago we noticed a dry red patch on the back of Ryan's leg. Again, we felt bad for the guy and continued on with life as usual. By the next day the patch had gotten bigger. So, after his bath we put some baby oil on him, smeared a little extra lotion on his face and put the little guy to bed.

Within a few days it became obvious that we needed to be more diligent about putting lotion on him. And on Tuesday when we went to pick him up at the sitter we were shocked to discover that his face was covered in dry scaly patches. On Tuesday night we gave him a bath, scrubbed his face, slathered him up and put him to bed. We awoke on Wednesday to find that the patches had returned and within a few hours the spots were oozing something.

Every day he has been getting worse and last night it finally occurred to us, the worst parents ever, that perhaps we should take our little trooper in for a look-see with the doctor.

He is currently covered head to toe in dry itchy red patches. He is obviously terribly uncomfortable and doesn't want to be held because that just makes him feel worse. Yesterday afternoon I stripped him down to his diaper, covered him in lotion, gave him some Tylenol, and wrapped him in a soft warm blanket. He was able to sleep for about an hour, which is probably the most sleep he has gotten in a while.

Jake is taking Ryan to the doctor today and I just feel so bad because, why didn't we do something about this sooner?! What was I thinking? When we dropped him off at the sitter this morning he was able to muster a smile for us and my heart sank. He trusts us to take care of him. He even smiles for us when he is in pain, and this is the hand is gets dealt?

So, anyway, I'm praying that the doctor will take one look at him, diagnose him immediately, and send Jake on his way to the pharmacy for some ointment or medication that will have him feeling better by morning.

Hey, miracles can happen.


A quick note about some other news....
The other day I accidentally pulled Rachel off her little stool while I was trying to yank her socks off. Her bottom hit the floor and her back hit the stool and we both cried (see, worst parent ever I'm telling you). Yesterday I went to remove her socks and she said, "Mommy, this time don't pull me off the stool and hurt me."

Oh my aching heart.

All I want for Christmas is (regular) sleep...

Very seldom can someone claim to know why God does what God does.

But...

I am almost 100% positive that I know exactly why God gave us the ability to have children when we are young and carefree rather than when are much older and wiser...

Because children age us.

And make us so TIRED.

I know that I was never this tired with Rachel. Ever.

When Rachel was a baby I don't believe that I would have ever thought of, much less condoned, setting up a picnic table in front of the TV. And then to do it for more than one meal in a row?! Gasp...No!

And I feel like I would have always found the energy to put laundry away every week. I have had a basket of clean, unfolded, children's clothes setting in the dining room for so long that Jake seemed almost shocked to learn that he had to go upstairs to get an outfit for Ryan this morning.

And poor Rachel. Three times this weekend (three times, I kid you not) she asked me if I have another baby in my tummy whenever she saw me slumped over on the couch. Apparently she remembers, quite vividly, how tired I was during my pregnancy and now associates my sheer exhaustion with having a baby in my tummy. I asked her once if I look like I have a baby in my tummy and was relieved when she said no.

She must know that it has been almost a year since full nights of sleep were the norm for her mother.

Every night before I go to bed I call out to God, sometimes in tears, asking him to please let us all sleep through the night. I beg him to miraculously keep Ryan's tummy full until at least 5:30 AM...and to keep the array of noises that both children make in their sleep to a dull roar so their racket cannot be heard over the baby monitor. I would turn the thing off except that I still wouldn't be able to sleep because I would just lie awake in fear...fear of missing something important.

Sigh....

Jake and I always kid with each other that we need a vacation but this past weekend we talked about it like it wasn't a joke anymore. I read a blog not to long ago about a woman who left her newborn home with a sitter to take a much needed vacation. The poor lady was attacked by other mothers and accused of being selfish and a bad mother. To that woman I say....

Who was your travel agent and how might I get in contact with her?

Happy tuesday...

For those of you who might be keeping track, it has been a very long time since I last wrote on my blog. But, have no fear...I can pretty much sum up the last few weeks in just one word:

Busy.

I returned to work on October 30th and as I walked back into my office I was struck by a very strange thought, how is it possible that time continued to march on at my office while I was gone?

And, how do I know that this happened?

It has taken me two weeks to get us back up and running...well, to my standards anyway.

In the meantime, our lives outside of my office also continue to move forward. I have pretty much given up trying to potty train Rachel for now. I bought her a toy from her most very favorite show (Jake and the Never Land Pirates), set it at her eye level so can she see it every single day, and told her she can't play with it until she goes poopy in the potty. That was over a month ago. Don't get me wrong, she sees it every day and she can even tell me why it's there, "I have to go poopy in the potty before I can play with my toy." but she has yet to feel compelled to do the deed that she speaks of.

Ryan is growing like a little weed. I'm not kidding. That little guy may not have rolls of chub but he still packs quite a punch and tipped the scales at just around 14 pounds last week. He is even wearing his 3-6 month clothes and has started to outgrow his bouncy seat. Dear God, no! Not the bouncy seat! What on earth will we do when he cannot fit into that thing anymore?!

Jake is less than a month away from his LAST FINAL. Can you believe that? We are just a few short weeks away from ending a journey that we have been on for almost 12 years. And when he finally graduates next May I might just do something crazy...go back to school myself and start the entire process over again. I know. Duh. Anyway, he will start his student teaching in January and we are just about to pee our pants with excitement as we wait to hear where he has been placed. A few weeks ago he was pleased to hear that he was the first person in his cohort to get placed (the only person to do so in the first round) and even though I couldn't be more proud of the guy I am really anxious about how this will change our lives (not to mention our morning routine).

And because I just cannot resist posting a few pictures of our two little pains in the rear  bundles of joy.....

Happy Tuesday!