November 12, 2016

Why I cried after the election...

I cried during election night coverage. I cried as the results came in. I cried throughout the following day. And Wednesday night, I stopped crying and drowned my sorrows in junk food.

I didn't cry because Hillary lost.
I didn't cry because Trump won.

I cried because the symbolism of Trump won.
Not because Republican legislative or social policies won.
Not because Democratic legislative or social policies lost.

I cried because millions of people were not only willing, but able, to look past the hurt, and still vote for the person who caused it.

I cried because a political majority rejected the significance of isms and embraced standard political "change" over the election's ugly underbelly.
I cried because the same old tired story of republican values versus liberal elitism was more important than a new game changing narrative of us versus them.

I cried because ignorance and hate won.
I cried because millions of Americans were willing to overlook all of the hurtful things that Donald Trump has said and done. And held Hillary more accountable for her past than his present.

I cried because instead of holding him accountable for his seemingly casual discussion on sexual assault, his words were written off as "normal" and "OK" and "locker room talk."
I cried because millions of Americans see no problem here.

I cried because the significance of a threat to build a wall or deport thousands of people was lost on those who view undocumented residents and their families not as survivors, but as problems.
I cried because the devastation in countries from which many of these people have come from is not of concern to many Americans.

I cried because too many Americans think that the Black Lives Matter movement is about who matters more, not understanding that the message is Black Lives Matter too.

I cried because when I'm tired of talking or hearing about race or White privilege, I can just, stop. Take it off. Let the noise rest somewhere else for a while. But many others cannot.
I cried because so many have chosen not to carry this burden at all.

I cried for my son, my sweet beautiful, innocent boy, who may one day be bullied because of his speech disorder, and not find support in a crowd of strangers.

I cried because, even though we are free to worship any way we please, those who choose to worship differently are not trusted, made to feel unloved, and seen as evil.

I cried because I have committed my work and my education to ensuring that all students on my campus feel safe and welcome, that they will be successful. But I was told that there is no value in this. That all of my efforts are for nothing.

I cried because many Trump supporters think those of us who cry are sore losers, that we cry because we are wimps and whiners who need to get over it. Who need to stand up, brush ourselves off, and act like real Americans.
I cried because I fit the acceptable, stereotypical mold of a real American, but others do not.

I cried because they either don't know or don't care why we're crying.

This is why I cried. This is why I continue to cry.


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    1. I think crying is a grown up reaction to this situation.

    2. Amen, cousin! The pain I experience in is solidarity/empathy with people already being targeted by the violent acts of people taking Trump's election win as creating space for facism. I also believe that processing anxiety, anger and depression is really important work, helping us critically examine our core stories... then we wake up, move through and reintegrate for the long haul in the storm ahead.

  2. I cried with you. Thank you for putting it into words.

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  4. Educated MIdwesterner (not an oxymoron)November 13, 2016 at 10:54 PM

    I hear you, and I wish I could ease your pain. But you have no idea why I voted for Trump, or what I overlooked to do so, any more than you understand what things in Hillary's "present" and future I couldn't ignore. I pray God comforts us both.

    1. When you voted for Trump, whatever your reason, you bought the whole package, not just the parts you like.That's what scares the rest of us. Whatever he does falls on you entirely.

  5. Very true. It must be nice to be able to look past the man's racism, sexism, and islamophobia because it does not concern you.
    There are millions of Americans who can not just overlook that stuff. Are we not suffering too if our neigbour is???

    1. I cant take another 4 yrs of Obama in her pocket . The natl debt getting bigger and i cant look over the Benghazi deal . And i didnt think she was the best choice . Everyone has opinions !! Trump has not caused division in the USA . Its been here for the last 8 yrs . Im a reg demo and havent voted that way in the past 4 elections .

  6. You said everything I feel. Thank you for expressing my feelings so everyone knows how I feel too.

  7. I am also an educated midwesterner and I cry with you. The hatred and violence that is flowing out of the "winners", including Trump himself makes me fear for this country. The neo-fascists he is bringing into his administration are scary as well. We are NOT an all white country and never have been. In reality, if all the immigrants need to go, then the white people do too, this was not our land originally.

  8. Thank you for writing this. I also am very afraid for my family, friends and our future. The hateful comments and actions are terrible. This is not the America we can be proud of.

  9. You cried because you are brainwashed!

  10. The national debt under Trump is predicted to go up substantially based on his proposed tax cuts and new expenditures. This has been validated across the board by a spectrum of economic projections. The "Benghazi deal" was a tragic outcome in which many, including the Republican congress who voted down funds to increase security to consulates in dangerous countries, must share the responsibility. Trump has not caused division in the US???? His inflammatory stands ( from his candidate pulpit) on everything from immigration to The Muslim faith to his disregard for the pain caused by the realization that a national figure could objectify and denigrate women and still be elected, were just the tip of the iceberg of his divisiveness. Yes, everyone has opinions, but only some of them are based in reality. I'm very sorry that your lack of understanding and clarity about issues has forced us all into a potentially disastrous four years.

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  12. Thank you for putting the way I am feeling into words. I continue to cry with you.

  13. All- I am humbled by your support and kind words in response to my blog post. I had no idea that my simple thoughts would resonate with so many people (almost 25,000 page views!), and I appreciate the opportunity to play a small role in your lives.

    For those who didn't agree with my blog- that's fine too. We're all entitled to our opinions. There are no hard feelings here. :)