In a few days Ryan will return to the Center for Disabilities and Development. Some of you might remember that when he was first evaluated there last December he passed (most of) their exams with flying colors. He literally tested off the charts in his cognitive abilities but struggled with speech.
CDD asked us to bring Ryan back this summer so I honored their request and scheduled a follow-up visit. Honestly, when I made the appointment I did so kind of halfheartedly. I was almost positive that by July the appointment would no longer be necessary. In fact, I didn't even schedule everyone who wanted to see him because I hated to hog time slots that I figured we would never use.
And now, here it is. July. The week of Ryan's appointment. And it is still scheduled.
Ryan has made some progress, but not so much that I can, in good conscience, throw caution to the wind and cancel the appointment with CDD.
I feel like I'm back to where we were last fall- confused and completely clueless. At least this time we have a support group of people who know Ryan and want to help him. But still, I can't help but feel a bit helpless. And I'm not sure why. Perhaps its because I originally took the ostrich approach to this and wasn't prepared. Or, maybe I've done too much research and scared the crap out of myself. Either way, I feel like I need some answers. Why is that? Why must we insist on getting answers or naming everything that we don't understand?
Whenever Ryan forms a new word or communicates a new thought, I can't help but be excited for him. And then he moves on to the next word or phrase or story or whatever it is he wants to say in his Ryan-esk language, and I feel frustrated again. And he feels frustrated because I don't understand his super exciting story.
I have often wondered if Ryan thinks that all of the people he sees on a regular basis are just showing up, bringing cool toys for him to play with, giving him their undivided attention for an hour, and then leaving. But, lately he has proven to me that he gets it. He seems to know that these people are teaching him to speak. To talk. To communicate. I think he appreciates all of their help, and tries really hard to use what they have taught him. He's pretty smart like that.
Hopefully the next few weeks will provide us with more answers than questions. Hopefully we will continue to march down this path of progress (perhaps with a quickened pace even). Hopefully by this time next year we will be able to turn around and see how far we have come.