August 31, 2011

Mean girl...

Okay, I'll be honest. I hate some people.
I hate mean people.
I hate stupid people.
I hate rude people.
I hate incompetent people.


I'm not a mean person...right?

There is only so much I can handle before I feel my sanity start to break down and last Friday I finally hit that point.

So, I sat in my office and cried. The tears rolled down my cheeks and dripped onto my keyboard and the thought of having to come back and do it all again this week just made me cry harder.

I thought the office was empty so I let it all go. And then my co-worker walked in. She didn't notice my tears because I didn't look at her. I just kept typing. It was awful.

I've been working long hours for weeks now; skipping lunch breaks, taking work home, and staying late at the office. I'm exhausted.
I have until Thanksgiving to hit my next goal weight. I set that goal for myself and would really like to reach it. I'm starving.
I started getting up at 4:45 again to make time for exercise because I know that waiting until after work is a lost battle. I'm sore and grouchy.
It's only the second week of the semester and already my husband's schedule is beginning to take a toll on me. I'm stressed out.

Stress. Hunger. Fatigue.

That would make anyone a bit "on edge", right?

But, I'm not a mean person. Really I'm not.

But, honestly....

I think my co-workers might think that I'm either
A. Completely strange or
B. A B&%$#@

Why, might they think this? Probably because I called the person who left colored paper in the copy machine a Schmoe. Or, maybe it was because I told my supervisor that I was going to be late to our meeting because it was 2:30 and I really needed to take my first bathroom break of the day. Or, perhaps they thought I was a bit grumpy when I trashed (no...vented about) another co-worker when she was out of the office (I know...totally immature and unprofessional).

Either way, I just hate the thought of people thinking that I'm a mean girl.

So, today I resolved to be nicer. I made the first pot of coffee. That's my good deed for the day. And, I feel a lot better (baby steps people).

Now, if I could just find my favorite pen I think today might actually be a good day.


  1. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. The fact that you realize it and know you've been a bit grumpy proves you are not a mean person. Mean people don't even know they are being mean, or don't even care! Hang in there!

  2. Thanks for the great reminder! I'm so thankful that I'm not one of those people.

  3. I agree with Minivan Mama. True words up there.

  4. Oh, Angie...I miss you! :)

    You are so NOT a mean person. You're the farthest from it. I know, I have evidence from our years of friendship. Do you know by the way that we've been friends for 12 years!??! CRAZY! Crazy that you've put up with me and that I've put up with you :)


  5. It happens. Trust me. You're not a mean person. I've often thought I was, though, when I've actually said what I was actually thinking. That always gets me into trouble.
    But it will get better. Hopefully.

  6. Seriously, I laughed out loud at the fact that you called someone a schmoe. But otherwise I just sympathize. I've had those days and had to tell myself the same things. You're not mean, either. Just human.

  7. Congratulations on your SITS day. I hope it's a fun one for you.

    We all have bad days. Everyone who matters will know you're just stressed. And everyone else needs someone to gripe about, so you're helping them out.

    Deep breaths! You're fine. Or you will be once you find that pen.

  8. Oh, don't we all have those times! You'll get through this one, though. Hopefully you can get some sweet toddler hugs in each day...those are what usually make me feel better!

  9. Oh girl, I feel you. I'm right there with you in the middle of the few most stressful weeks of the year for me and I'm so overwhelmed. Then, to top it off, one kids got into bed and kicked me all night and the other came down and had had an accident~ which happens maybe twice a year~ so this morning I'm sleep-deprived and not by choice!

    Stopping by from SITS! Happy SITS Day! (Sorry to pee on your happy day... you hit a nerve :))

  10. Everyone at my workplace knows I'm the mean girl. And I'm okay with that. When I went back to work, I decided I was going to let my aggression show as a coping mechanism. It's worked out pretty well so far, all told!

  11. I have to say, take it easy on yourself. Stress and lack of sleep changes your hormonal balance and makes it harder to lose weight. Have you heard of "The Sleep Doctor's Diet"? I've only just heard of it myself, but I know it's true in my life that stress & irregular sleep keep the pounds coming back. I'm sure you're not mean at all, everyone has bad days.

  12. I do understand your feeling though. I so CRAVE to lose some weight and look/feel better. I hate being known as the "heavy-set" girl when my customers try to identify me. But when you work noon-8pm almost every day (weekends included) and you're already up at 7:30am with your child, it seems impossible to get up even earlier to exercise. And being broke on top of it causes stress too.

    I found that when all these factors stress me out, I say more negative things on a regular basis. So I just have to tell myself, "What would you think if someone else said it like this all the time." At least then I can monitor if what I'm saying sounds normal or actually negative so I don't end up being 'that girl'. Keep your chin up mama!!

    Stopped by from SITS... :)

  13. Just saw you on SITS.

    Anyone would break under that constant pressure. I think we are all owed our little moments to totally freak out. It can make the rest of the day more pleasant if we aren't bottling it up - as I tend to do. Then, inevitably, I will crack, too.

  14. It's good to look at yourself from a different angle. Helps when you can laugh about and truthfully, writing about it is super good for all of us...helps us with that angle thing. Anyway, congrats on your SITS day. I know I enjoyed the heck out of mine.
    Have a GREAT day!!

  15. I have to agree with Minivan Mama - the fact that you care enough to not want to be a mean person, CLEARLY shows that you are not one!

    I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing (as much as possible) SITS day :)

  16. I think we all have our 'mean' days. :) They by no means define us... right?? :) And if they did.. we would all be mean folks.

  17. Thanks everyone who stopped by on my SITS day and left such nice words of encouragement.