March 7, 2012

The 10 commandments...

The 10 Commandments (God's version)
From: Exodus 20:3-17

1.You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

2.You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

3.Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

4.Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

5.Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

6.You shall not murder.

7.You shall not commit adultery.

8.You shall not steal.

9.You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

10.You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

The 10 Commandments For Pregnant Women
From: Angie's Words of Wisdom (sort of)

1. Your due date is only a figment of your imagination. Pray for an early delivery, plan for a surprise in the middle of the night, and find a doctor who won't let you go more than 1 week late.

2. Don't name your kid anything stupid. Remember, they have to live with that name for the rest of their life.

3. Contrary to pre-pregnancy beliefs, evenings and weekends can be set aside completely for sleeping.

4. For 9 months you suffered through morning sickness, swollen body parts, and elbows in your ribs; take time to actually enjoy your maternity leave. Don't give yourself long to-do lists or set lofty goals. Just enjoy the time at home with your new baby before the craziness of short nights and long days at work begins.

5. Thank your mother (and father) every single day for bringing you into this world. It wasn't as much fun as the movies would have you believe.

6. You shall not murder.

7. Don't fall in love with pickles and/or ice cream and/or french fries.

8. Extra pads, formula, and diapers given to you by the hospital are take-home items. Toilet paper rolls from the bathroom, extra fluffy hospital pillows, and hospital-provided newborn blankets are not take-home items (we've all done it).

9. Don't try to fit into those zipper jeans before you leave the hospital. You're not fooling anyone.

10. Yes, the baby items you begged, borrowed, and purchased at reduced prices are just as good for your baby as your friend's brand new thousand-dollar travel system.

1 comment:

  1. Number 10!!!! It actually gets under my skin when my slightly used items - and I mean slightly used - are rejected by expectant first-time mothers. I shouldn't let it bother me, but I want to shake them and say "Get over yourself. These are good enough for your child." Stepping off my soapbox now.