I want super powers...

So it has begun; that stage of my pregnancy when I lose all ability to protect myself from myself.

When I was still in the early months of pregnancy with Rachel I once read that pregnant women tend to drop things, lose their balance, and just become more clumsy in general. That terrified me because I'm already like that almost every single day of my life. Why must pregnancy make it worse? Well, my book was correct then and it still is today.

While pregnant with Rachel I broke a toe, sliced my leg open on a tin can, and often found myself trying to bend over to pick up random things that I had just...let go of.

Pregnant women have a ridiculously heightened sense of smell. Wouldn't it be great if we could carry that "good fortune" over to other aspects of our lives and possess super powers? Like, instead of being known for dropping things (which, by the way is really not fair for those of us who are already having trouble with the whole bending over thing), we would have super-human strength? Or the ability to Velcro a basket of laundry to our side when we need an extra hand?

Or, wouldn't it be grand if we could cook a whole meal using just our mind and a picture of what we want the finished product to look like? And, instead of having trouble taking deep breaths during those last few months when baby is sitting on our lungs we could breathe light on a locked door handle and see exactly where to put the key?

I know...the best super power would be the ability to design our own clothes. I went shopping the other day for a nice dress and was a bit shocked when I discovered that, at more than one store, my only options included wrap-around dresses, short above-the-knee dresses, or long dresses clad in horizontal stripes. HORIZONTAL STRIPES! Seriously? I would like to find the idiot who thought that was a good idea and put them in horizontal stripes when their belly covers their view of their own two feet.

But alas...we have no super powers. Except that we can move all of our organs into one area of our body, grow another human in that space previously housed by that which keeps us alive, and then push said human out of a hole previously reserved for something the size of a tampon.

I would like to see Super Man try that one.