I can cry if I want to...

So the last 24 hours or so have been tough. I'm exhausted, emotionally drained, frustrated and hot.

I had some problems yesterday and ended up in Labor and Delivery for several hours. At first they wanted to keep me overnight for observation but I was eventually discharged and told to go home and rest. So naturally, we headed straight for the all-you-can-eat soup, salad, and bread sticks at Olive Garden since Jake and I were both starving. Then, we went home and I did my best to relax. Which, honestly, is not possible with a two-year-old running around.

This morning, still exhausted, I returned to my doctor for a follow-up appointment. I was supposed to be there at 10:30 but due to a transportation issue (apparently the campus busing service wasn't stopping at my stop today) I didn't make it in until closer to 11:00. But, whatever. Yesterday I was given a shot of steroids, which will begin to help develop baby's lungs in case we deliver early and today I was to receive my second round. Apparently the shot was ordered at 10:00 this morning so it would be waiting for me when I got there. It wasn't. In fact, it didn't show up until 1:30. Oh my goodness. Do you know how long of a wait that was?! And guess what else.... I'm not even sure that I actually got any of the medicine since most of it dripped down my arm. ARGH!

So now I'm hot, tired, hungry, annoyed, behind in work, and very very grouchy. And to top off my cherry of a week (and let me tell you, it has certainly been a cherry of a week), my doctors are at odds about when my due date should be. My co-workers have asked me how I'm doing and really, I just want to cry. Does that make sense to anyone? I really think that if I could just cry I would feel better. I tried closing my office door so I could let the tears come out but two people stopped by to ask if I was okay and kind of ruined the moment. I know they meant well though.

I feel like such a basket case.... a very tired basket case.

Just one of those days...

Today is one of those days.

You know, the kind of day that makes you tired just thinking about it.

And the kind that makes you confuse things like "State of Residency" with "Citizenship"- as in, which state do you live in versus what country where you born in?

Sigh....

Oh well, at least the jackhammer outside my window is finally silent and the drill in the office below mine isn't running anymore.

I'm just thankful that the end of the fiscal year is finally upon us, which means some of this craziness is destined to end soon....hopefully.

And I finally reached 30 weeks so that's a pretty big deal. We've got 2-9 more weeks until the real craziness sets in. And to that I say...

Bring. It. On.

Only in my dreams...

I was a bit late (later than usual) for work this morning.

I kept hitting the snooze button....

So I could keep dreaming.....

Because in my dreams, I was married.....

........

.......

To this guy.

(Name one person who wouldn't have done the same thing I did)

But, of course, he could never hold a candle to this guy.

My (un)vacation day...

Yesterday I used a day of vacation and stayed home from work. But, let me just clarify one thing....I was most certainly not on vacation.

My day started with a trip to the grocery store. Here's a side note, the grocery store is a strange place to be on a Wednesday morning- nothing like the store I've come to expect on weekends. Shelves were full, workers were actually, gasp, smiling, and not a line could be found anywhere. Odd. Almost eerie.

So, I shopped and spent up a storm, loaded my groceries (while parked in the spot reserved for new and expecting mothers, of course), and directed my checkbook onward to Target.

Oops...couldn't quite make it past Starbucks. Stopped there....AND then on to Target.

I really wasn't planning on being in Target for that long but, holy cow, I was in there forever. There is a small chance that I might possibly, just maybe, have gotten a tiny bit carried away in the baby section.

Okay, I'll be honest....

I couldn't hold back tears in the blanket aisle so, just to make sure that I really was buying the right one, I got three.

Once home I unloaded the car, which also took forEVer.

Then, it was time to unpack everything. By now it was becoming quite obvious that I wouldn't have time to both sort baby stuff and make meals for my freezer so I trashed the rest of my game plan, tried not to feel guilty for trashing my game plan (still working on that one), and started making freezer meals.

Here's a picture of some of the baby stuff. Fun, huh?

And here is just a portion of the ingredients that went into my freezer meals.

One thing I really must keep in mind for next time...don't forget to account for the amount of time that it takes to fry up 12 pounds of meat and 2 packages of chicken. If you're wondering....it takes FOREVER.

When it was all said and done I had 10 casseroles, 4 meatloaves, and about 8 quarts of chili.

And my feet hurt. And my back hurt. And my hands hurt. And my wallet hurt.

And now, we wait for baby to come so I can justify using this food.

I would have to say that the highlight of my day came at the very end (no, I didn't have time to drink my celebratory bottle of sparkling white grape juice). When Rachel got home and saw all of the stuff on the table she wanted to look at everything (of course). I was a little nervous that she would want to play with some of the stuff or, worse yet, feel compelled to cry because none of it was for her. Instead, she pointed out each and every item, confirmed that her baby brother would love it, and finished with, "Oh mommy, I'm so happy for my baby brother!"

Pause for heart to melt....

P.S. For those of you who have been asking to see a "baby bump" picture....you're in luck.

But, I feel compelled to warn you that it really isn't a bump. It's really more like a baby gut. I envy those women who have cute little baby bumps (Julie, I'm looking at you here). I am not a cute pregnant woman with a cute basketball-shaped roll under my shirt.

And so, with no more procrastination left in me.

I give you...

The 29-week picture. Enjoy!

The Murray family...

Hi folks.

Today is a different kind of post.

Today I'm sharing a link to the blog of Nicole Murray (http://mjmurrayfamily.blogspot.com).

You should visit this blog.

But, I'll warn you.

Take a box of Kleenexes with you when you go.

Nicole is the daughter of Mick and Julie Murray.

Mick and Julie were two people who listened to God and followed his plan for their lives.

And that willingness to listen changed thousands of lives....forever.

And when they left this world we grieved their death, celebrated their lives, and counted ourselves lucky for having been blessed with the opportunity to have known them.

Okay, here's the plan...

I am finally in the third trimester and yesterday something dawned on me.... it is now time to panic.

Oh my goodness. What have we done?!

Another child? Really? What were we thinking?!

Plus, I'm not even ready for this one. I mean, I've got diapers being delivered this week and our car seat came last week and we're going to pick up a bunch of clothes next weekend but still.... we're not anywhere near ready for this one.

I'm not ready to take off work. I'm not mentally prepared to be at home with a newborn. I just need the ride to slow down for one second so I can get my thoughts in order. Just one second....

I know that no one knows for sure when that special little one will arrive but, for the most part, people have a pretty good idea as to when they can expect the big day (hence the "due date" concept). And that makes life easier. But, when you know that you have no idea, not even a general one, as to when this kid will arrive...that is just stressful. And no, the definition of general cannot be "sometime between 3 and 8 weeks" from now. That's just plain unfair.

This week I'm taking a day off from work to get my life in order. Here's my plan for the day:

1. Hit the grocery store first thing and pick up ingredients for at least a dozen meals that I will have stuffed into my freezer by the end of the day.

2. Stop by Target and pick up some baby stuff...you know... a few things just for the new kid so he knows that we didn't forget him.

3. Rush home and start sorting crap. And by crap I mean...baby stuff. It was all organized when we moved in but at some point Rachel's closet turned into that closet. You know the one...that one place where anything and everything gets thrown and as long as the door shuts no questions are asked...until you need to find something that is believed to be in there...somewhere.

4. Spend the afternoon up to my elbows in chicken and rice and meat and tortilla shells and tator tots and freezer pans.

5. Celebrate my success with a glass of sparkling white grape juice. Dear Lord, I hope I make it to this step.

In a few days I will start the 29th week- my final week before the 30s. And the 30s, well, that's pretty much almost the end of the line. We've been told to plan for sometime around 36-37 weeks, hope for at least 32 weeks, and expect anything in between.

I guess that means....

Ready or not, here he comes!

Here comes the flower girl...

Jake and Rachel were in a wedding a few weeks ago and I completely forgot to post pictures from it.

So, I figure that its time I post them once.

Jake looked mighty handsome in his tux.

Rachel looked adorable in her flower girl dress.

And, of course, the bride and groom looked fabulous too

(that's them seeing each other for the first time).

We were so very proud of our little two-year-old that day. She made it through pictures with flying colors (even though they were right during her nap time), and then the big moment came....and she made it all the way down the aisle all by herself. No tears. No screaming. No poking or prodding or bargains had to be made. She just.... did it.

She watched the bridesmaids walk in and promptly marched in just as they had. And, she didn't drop a single flower petal... she told me that she didn't want to make a mess.

Rachel asked me to put a bow on Jerry for the day but I couldn't find one so he wasn't quite as good looking as the rest of us but he was still there, as always.

Summer vacation time...

This past weekend my brother and his three boys (I'll pause while you get your breath) came for a visit. We decided beforehand that it should be low-key with not quite so many planned activities... you know, just a relaxing time with the family.... which is currently comprised of seven grandchildren, five of which are boys.

It wasn't quiet but it was boat loads of fun...and just a little bit crazy.

And, Rachel was determined to keep up with the big kids as much as possible.

The party began on Thursday evening when we all got together for grilled brats, go-cart rides, baseball games, catching fireflies, and fireworks (not necessarily the kind that can be legally purchased in this state but oh well).

Friday we spent most of the morning at my sister's house and then, while the two youngest kids took their afternoon naps, the older kids were sent to the city pool to cool off. That evening we all went to my nephew's t-ball game and got to cheer him on as he cleared the bases during a home run. Next up... a family hayride followed by grandpa's homemade ice cream and fresh raspberries.

Here's Rachel and her daddy getting ready for the hayride.

And now, the family (all 3.5 of us).

And the cousin photo...at least the best of the bunch anyway.

Yep... this pretty much sums it up. But, really, this is one of my most favorite cousin pictures ever.

Saturday it was hot so I drug our little pool over to my parents' house so the kids could tromp around in it. Our half-hearted instructions to stay out of the pool until after lunch went completely unnoticed and the kids went from just "splashing our hands in the water" to your basic full-out water fight before the burgers were off the grill. After lunch we finally put the kids in swimsuits, pulled up some lawn chairs, and spent the afternoon refilling the pool with fresh water (at one point the pool turned into a giant stew pot and was filled with mud and rocks).

Here's how it started...

Here's how it ended...

And then it was time for a swimsuit...

And a kiss for little Tyler.

Saturday evening we shipped the older kids off to my sister's house so that my niece could be on babysitting duty for the evening. She put a movie in for the boys to watch and I believe they were all snoring by 8:30. The two little munchkins got to spend the night with grandpa and grandma while the siblings and spouses spent an evening enjoying a fabulous meal- which was made even more fabulous when a mix-up by the kitchen shaved almost $40 off the final bill.

Sunday morning we all stuffed ourselves silly at brunch, which was promptly followed by nap time for almost everyone. But the hot afternoon brought with it another trip to the pool and this time everyone got to go...even the two littlest kids. Rachel had never been to the pool before and I wasn't sure how she would like it. To my utter dismay, and pure joy, she absolutely loved it. It was almost a struggle to keep her from wading out to where the water was up to her eyeballs. And yes...it was awkward showing up at the pool in my fat-lady swimming suit outfit thing but oh well....who do I have left to impress, right?

And P.S. if you think I'm posting pictures of that scene you're nuts.

Sunday evening we took the kids to the park for carnival rides and once again, Rachel just had to try to keep up with her older cousins. I thought for sure she would cry on the airplanes or the train but she held it together the entire time, even when she was on the crazy fish ride. The evening was finished with one final taste of grandpa's homemade ice cream and his special popcorn, which was followed very closely with a bath and bedtime. I didn't hear one peep from Rachel after we put her to bed. I suspect she was just as tired as we were.

Here's Rachel, flying with the big kids.

Time for the train ride.

Her most favorite ride of all...the baby elephant. She looked so grown up on that thing.

Man, what a great weekend that was.

But...

Man...I'm so thankful to be at work today where I can just....relax.

Rachel...

Rachel's regular daycare person (whom she just adores by the way) is on vacation today so she's at Jody's house.

Jody is a long-time friend of my sister's- like, I knew her when big bangs were way cool and her and my sister were way cool for having them.

Anyway, she's been a blessing to us and we feel very lucky to have her so close by. We were all prepared for Rachel to cry and be at least a little bit sad when we dropped her off this morning, given that she was in a different house with different kids. But, nope. Nothing. In fact, she told us good-bye and scampered off before we could even open the front door to leave.

Our little gal...what a social butterfly that kid is.

Jody sent me a picture this morning of Rachel playing outside and she seems to be having a fabulous day. Hooray!

I dare to compare...

It finally occurred to me this morning that this pregnancy is nothing like the last one.

Duh...

"Hi Angie, I'm a reality check. Nice to meet you."

Last Time:

I was sick all day every day for the first 24 weeks and again from about 36 weeks until the end.

This Time:

The second trimester began and the all-day "morning sickness" almost disappeared completely.

Last Time:

I owned about 5 shirts, 2 sweaters, and 3 pairs of dress pants from the maternity section. Yes, it was awful.

This Time:

I have been lucky enough to be blessed with two very good friends who not only happen to be my size but also love to shop and are very generous with sharing clothes. THANKS ladies, I couldn't survive without you (you know who you are).

Last Time:

I gave up on wearing makeup because I just couldn't bring myself to take the time to put it on.

This Time:

Not that way at all.

Last Time:

I gained...gulp...an embarrassing and, quite frankly, rather irresponsible 70 pounds.

This Time:

I checked the other day and I am only up about 15 pounds. Hooray for me! Although, I still feel monstrously fat.

Last Time:

It was me, my husband, two fat cats, and a tiny condo.

This Time:

It is me, my husband, two fat cats, a two-year-old, and a house in the country with a garden.

Last Time:

Heartburn all the time.

This Time:

Unfortunately...this hasn't changed. Even water gives me heartburn.

Last Time:

I carried really high (and had a girl)

This Time:

I'm carrying really low and enduring numerous kicks to my belly button. It's a boy.

Last Time:

Work was pretty slow and I'll admit...a bit boring at times.

This Time:

Lunch? Who has time for that?!

Last Time:

Shoes every day.

This Time:

Shoes? I remember those...they are the things you wear when your feet aren't swollen, right?

Last Time:

Due date- January

This Time:

Due date- Ummmmm, it was September 12, then it was September 5, now it's an early c-section around August 7-14 but it could be earlier than that. So....I guess the correct answer is: I have no idea.

Last Time:

Wedding ring quit fitting around 24 weeks.

This Time:

So far so good. It is still on my finger and we're on week 27.

So, in a nut shell, "they"- whoever "they" are- have been correct, again. Every pregnancy is different. Every woman is different. Every baby is different.

But, really the most important thing to keep in mind....

Is that...

It's all a miracle no matter how you look at it.

An exciting, frustrating, terrifying, sickening, painful, fabulous miracle.