February 11, 2013

Change, it needs to happen...

I have not written a list on my blog for quite some time (okay, so I haven't written a lot of things on my blog for awhile but oh well).

I figure that it is about time for me to list a few things, so I give you...

My List of Reasons for For Why I Want Our Current "Normal" to Change- Even Though I know I Should Learn to Embrace the Now:

1. It feels like my entire life is consumed with potty training mishaps and treatments for baby eczema. I need a break from the washing of hands, the frustrations that go along with these issues, and the monotonous pattern of crying (from both children) that we have found ourselves in.

2. Sometimes at work I feel like I have been given a shovel and told to dig my own grave. Okay, so maybe that is a bit over-dramatic but still....it is really hard to keep a positive attitude (and to make myself stay on schedule) when I'm the person in charge of renovating myself right out of my very own office- especially since my office is my sanctuary. I look forward to coming to work so I can retreat to my own quiet, professional work space and it is kind of sad to note that in less than a month I will still be sleep deprived and exhausted but I will no longer have my own personal space to seek solitude and comfort in.

3. I cherish the small amounts of sleep and relaxation time that I get at home. And because of that I still have at least 50 pounds of baby weight to shed. I just cannot seem to find the energy or the will  (or the time) to exercise. Today I'm going to walk over my lunch break and I'm quite proud to say that. Too bad no amount of leisurely strolling is going to make my pants fit better.

4. I hate winter. I hate the cold and the snow and the mud and the wind and the grey landscape. I need spring to get here.

5. My adorable baby boy hates to snuggle and I hate that. He's so darn stinkin cute- even though he exhausts me I still think he's the cutest little boy EVER- and it is so unfun to not be able to snuggle up to that little guy. But, he likes his space and doesn't want it to be invaded. I guess he figures that he spends enough time with us in the middle of the night and doesn't want to be held during normal day-light hours. Such a shame.

6. Having only one income is crappy. Since Jake is doing his student teaching right now he can't work, which is really hard on my "I want this.." list. This is especially frustrating because I feel fat and when I feel fat I often feel the need to go shopping. You know, so my clothes will fit. Is that really too much to ask for?

7. I wish Rachel would learn to watch something a bit more "grown up" than Jake and the Never Land Pirates or Dora the Explorer. We have about 50,000 of those shows in our DVR right now and we all have every single episode pretty much memorized. We also have about 50,000 children's movies recorded but we can never seem to talk her into watching any of them. Oh well, it could be worse, she could be into the Backyardagains, those things have been banned from our home.

And there you have it. A few things that I would like to see change. In fact, I'm looking forward to them changing. But, in the meantime, I continue to remind myself just how blessed I am. And, I will continue to try to snuggle with my baby boy while watching Dora with my beautiful little girl. Because, I'm sure that some day I will look back on this time and miss it...maybe.

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