I'm no idiot. I knew going into this parenting thing that I have no idea how to raise a child, and I really didn't show very much interest in it until about 10 months ago. I never played with dolls (except to put Barbie in a suit and send her off to work) and I very seldom squealed in excitement when I saw a new baby at church. But, I was kind of hoping that the minute I saw my baby I would feel the blood of motherhood flow through my veins and my brain would magically re-wire and turn into, well, a mom. Ummmm...yeah...not so much did that happen.
I love my little Rachel bug but I can't seem to shake that nagging feeling that I made a horrible mistake when I decided to become a mother. I'm not cut out to be a teacher. I freak out at the site of blood and snot. My nerves (and quick mouth) often get the best of me when I'm stressed. I don't handle difficult situations well. And, I take everything personally. So, after holding a sobbing little girl last night (nightmares) for 45 minutes I started to think, I may not be the best most knowledgeable mother, but at least I'm out there. And because every mom needs to hear positive things once in awhile I have decided to list the things that DO make me a good mom.
1. My child lives in a clean home, wears clean clothes, and drinks from clean bottles.
2. She always has plenty to eat, although we're both still working on the actual content of her meals (I keep forgetting to give her more than just formula and baby food- I have to remind myself that she CAN eat crackers and cheerios, etc too).
3. I love my little girl so much.
4. I don't care what time of day or night it is, I will always pick her up and snuggle with her when she needs to be snuggled.
5. As much as I hate to do it, I am not afraid to say, "No" to my child.
6. I really need to go shopping for a new wardrobe but I put my child's safety first and bought a new "big-kid" car seat.
7. Rachel may not think we have the coolest toys but any toy can be fun when mom and dad join in and play too.
8. At first I didn't decorate her room because I just didn't have the time (or the money) but now I'm waiting until Rachel is big enough to give her input on the decor.
9. I'm pretty sure she's the most perfect child. Ever.
10. I am very aware of the fact that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm perfectly willing to ask for help, and that's the best thing any parent can ever do for their child.
Yep...I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm pretty sure that we're all going to be okay (I hope).