My fourth weigh-in...

The other day a good friend sent me a link to a truly inspirational blog. The gal had been about about my size and last May she started following virtually the same weight-loss plan that I'm working on and within 10-months she went from a size 18 to a size 10. Her story was amazing. She was amazing. But...

I hated reading it.

I love hearing stories about other people's success but, oddly enough, it never makes me feel more inspired. The only place I have ever been able to draw inspiration from is my own success. Is that bad? Am I broken? Does that make me self-centered? Perhaps that's why I have such a problem with comparing myself to others?

Regardless of whether or not I have "me" issues...

The good news is...

I lost another pound.

And that might not sound like a lot to some of you but to me....

That's inspiring.

But, then again....

So is ice cream.

Better than sex cake...

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop wants to know...
Watcha' cookin? Share a recipe.

So I'm participating in the Fat Olympics (and not winning I might add). I made this cake last weekend and only ate one piece, which is quite impressive considering the fact that I have to look at it every time I open my refrigerator.

Better Than Sex Cake
(My mom calls it Sinfully Good cake. ha!)

Ingredients:
1 package devil's food cake mix
(or, you could make your own cake but...whatever)
1/2 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
6 ounces caramel ice cream topping
1/2 Bag (or more...wink,wink) of Heath Candy Bar Bits (found near the chocolate chips, etc.)
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed

Directions:
1. Bake cake according to package directions for a 9x13 inch pan. Allow to almost cool. Using the handle of a wooden spoon make 12-18 evenly distributed holes throughout the cake.
2. In a saucepan over low heat, combine sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping, stirring until smooth and blended. Slowly pour the warm mixture over the top of the warm cake, letting it sink into the slits. (Or, sometimes I just skip the heating part and pour the individual ingredients, cold, into the holes in the cake while it's still warm).
3. Let cake cool completely, then top with whipped topping. Sprinkle the Heath bar bits liberally across the entire cake. Refrigerate and serve right from the pan!

Nutritional Information:
Really, you really want to know? You'll have to google it then because I have no desire to locate, hear, or retain this information.


- The above photo was taken from allrecipes.com -

There is a method to her madness...

After three days full of failed attempts I FINALLY figured out how to post this cute little video and the funny thing is....after I got it uploaded I watched it again and realized that it's probably not that funny after all. Oh well.

The other night Rachel learned how to climb onto a chair but her method for getting down was a bit flawed- at least in our eyes. I'm sure she was quite satisfied with herself.

My third weigh-in...

Today is a good day.

This morning I took out the last bag of trash, emptied the final box of supplies, and finally finished designing, unpacking, and organizing our newly renovated office space. I'm pooped.

The sun is shining, it's unseasonably warm (almost 50 degrees), and it's a beautiful day.

I'm wearing a new pair of jeans that I broke down and bought last week (they're two sizes larger than they should be), and I LOVE them. I haven't owned or worn a pair of jeans that fit me this well since college.

My scale says that I have lost two pounds. Success!

Upper-level management...

Have you ever had one of those weeks when you feel like you are gasping for air and literally running from meeting to meeting? I hate those weeks....and I'm having one of them now.

For this week's Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop I have chosen to address this predicament head on. So....
Finding the balance. How do you manage?

First, let me be honest and admit that I'm pretty sure I have not found a balance...at all. Some days I over-work myself and feel guilty because I have no idea what we're having for our evening meal. Other days I arrive late to the office because I spent too much time emptying the dishwasher and folding clothes when I should have been walking out the door. I am, however, open to advice so if anyone else feels like they have found a decent balance in life, by all means don't keep it to yourself. Let's hear it!

I have never been successful at finding a good balance in my life but I have created some amazing ways to manage it all...
1. Wine- Not whine, but wine.
2. Working at Home- Believe it or not, but I find cleaning and organizing to be therapeutic. Perhaps this is where some of my problems stem from.
3. Blogging- I blog because I have too many thoughts in my head and they eventually fall out...onto "paper".
4. Ask. For. He..lll.hhhh.p- Sorry, it was kind of hard to spit that last word out. It has been a long journey but I'm finally starting to feel okay when I have to ask for assistance at home or work.
5. Lists- What? You're not a list maker? Really? How do you survive?!
6. Laughter- It truly is the best medicine. For everything.
7. Exercise- Even though I HATE getting up at 5:00 to exercise I can't believe how much more ready I feel to face my day. Plus, when else can I watch my DVRed shows from the night before?
8. Not Shopping- Okay, don't get crazy here. I know, I'm a woman and should LOVE to shop. The truth is....I really don't enjoy it that much....especially if we don't have the money for it. So, to keep myself from going insane I don't do very much shopping. I may not be in style but at least I can sleep at night.
9. Routine- I like to live by the motto, "Don't poke the bear." In other words, why create unnecessary drama? If the routine works, stick with it.
10. Prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

My second weigh-in...

I did something this morning that I haven't done in a very long time....I cried...about my weight.

It's week 2 of The Fat Olympics and today was our 2nd weigh-in. You may remember that last week the scale didn't move at all and as frustrating as that was I was okay with it. But this morning the scale was way out of line. It went up a pound! What the?!

I feel like my 13-month old daughter right now. You know how kids act when they don't get what they want in a timely manner.....and they throw a fit and refuse to take their sippy cup even though just seconds before they were screaming for it while you were trying to refill it.....anyway, you get the point. I feel like that right now. I don't want to play this stupid game anymore. I'm not winning and I'm not getting my way. I would rather just roll around and kick my feet in anger......or eat a Big Mac for lunch. That's probably the adult equivalent of throwing a tantrum, huh?

But, I won't throw a fit or eat like a pig or stop getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to exercise or go back to eating my nightly bowl of ice cream. No, I'll just keep on working at it....and I'll continue to try on my jeans every night to see if I can zip them yet.

Week 2 update...

It's week two of The Fat Olympics and my readers, bless their souls, are wondering how I'm doing.

Well...not too bad.

I wore some jeans last night that I haven't worn in quite awhile. I couldn't breathe very well but, hey, they were zipped and that's all that matters, right?

I have been getting up in the mornings to exercise and I started walking over my lunch break. Not bad.

I have been eating smaller portions and cut back drastically on junk food. Well done.

I went out with the ladies last night and almost the entire meal was desserts. Did I crash and burn? You bet.

We'll see on Friday how I feel about my decision to snarf down chocolate layer cake, Valentines cookies, and chips and dip. But, in my defense, Althea was right there with me (sorry Althea). :)

Tough love...

I am convinced that the easy part of parenting is O.V.E.R. For the first 12 months of Rachel's life all we had to do was feed, clothe, and bathe the child. Now that she's (almost) 13-months old we're finding out, very quickly, that things have changed. We no longer have a slobbering pile of baby goo on our hands, but instead we are now living with an actual little person. And this little person has opinions, thoughts, wants (as opposed to just needs), and a good pair of lungs. When did this happen? When did she turn into such a big kid? And, when did I cross the line from being a new mom to being a mom who should know better?

Rachel has been a good sleeper ever since she was 10 weeks old. As soon as those pj's come on she knows that we mean business. And, unless something drastic happens, as soon as she's in her crib and the lights go out she knows that it's time to sleep...and she always does. So, how in the world could I have mistaken her cries last night to mean that she was no longer in sleep mode? What kind of mother am I?!

To make a long story short, after about 4:00 neither of us got very much sleep. She was crying and I was trying to practice tough love. I keep hearing horror stories from parents whose children don't sleep well anymore and I just DREAD having to deal with that. So, I let her cry off and on for several hours, because I wanted her to be able to put herself back to sleep. It wasn't until we went in to get her this morning that we found out why she had been crying.....the poor child was covered in urine. That's right...go ahead...award me the medal now...Worst Mom of the Year...right here. We put her to bed in a smaller diaper than usual last night and it just couldn't hold it all in and our poor little Pooh Bear was stuck having to sleep in it...all....night...long.

I hope we get the hang of this parenting thing soon. Our poor little girl is running out of clean sheets.

My first weigh-in...

Today was the first weigh-in for The Fat Olympics. I haven’t lost one single pound. But, let’s stop being so hard on myself. After all, it’s only been 4 days.

The scales tell me that I’m failing but what does a stupid hunk of metal and plastic know? I went into this competition telling myself that I’m doing this to change my life. Just like everyone else I have tried almost every diet out there (except the cabbage soup one, yuck!) and look where that kind of behavior has gotten me….absolutely nowhere. This is about changing the way I look at food. It’s about planning my day for some quality “me” time so I can exercise, do things I enjoy, and not allow myself to get so stressed out. And, it’s ultimately about taking better care of my health so I can pass good habits onto my daughter. Losing weight and getting healthy is no longer just about me.

I’m going to admit my age here but does anyone else remember the movie, “What About Bob?” Remember…baby steps? Baby steps might not win The Fat Olympics but for my own sanity I’m starting with baby steps this time around (perhaps this decision is flawed but I have never been accused of being a good decision maker).

Baby stepping……
1. Cut down (drastically) on pop (some of you might also know this as soda, soda pop, or Coca-Cola)
2. Drink more water (and no, coffee cannot count as water at 3:00 in the afternoon)
3. Get up at the crack of dawn to exercise (waiting until I get home from work is just setting myself up for failure)
4. Take lunch breaks (too often I work through these)
5. Try to walk over my lunch break (unless it’s cold enough to freeze snot to my face and tears to my eye balls.).
6. Eat smarter meals- smaller portions, less fat, more veggies
7. No more snacking in the evening (which unfortunately includes my nightly bowl of ice cream).

Yesterday I took a health test at work and it told me that I’m fat. Duh, I already know that. But, I get paid $50 every time I take it (every 90 days) so you better believe that I’m more than happy to let them tell me what I already know for that kind of cash. Plus, it’s good to have a mirror held in front of my face every once in a while, even if it is just my employer trying to save on other costs by encouraging its employees to live healthier lives.

The fat Olympics

On February 1st I joined several other people from across the country who are competing with each other to see who can lose the most weight in six weeks. A friend of mine, The Professional Mother, organized the whole event (The Fat Olympics) for us because she's tired of having fat friends. Just kidding...she organized it because we all need support and what better way to get that than to throw a bit of friendly competition into the mix? It's not really all about "friends" though. I'm in it for the money.

The first few days have been rough for me. Yesterday we, along with the rest of the country, were snowed into our home. I believe it was pure boredom that prompted my wonderful husband to make homemade chocolate chip cookies. How selfish of him. And then, I planned a long workout during Rachel's afternoon nap....which was a whole 40 minutes. Come on! Why does the universe hate me?!

Either way, our first official weigh-in is tomorrow and already I'm jealous of my fellow competitors. I'm pretty sure they have all been eating nothing but celery and running for the last 48 hours so they're WAY ahead of me.

Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll all be in the same boat as me. Let's hope so.

I'm a horrible person...

So for today's Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop I decided to go with:
Describe the last thing that made you laugh really hard.

So, this is why I'm a horrible person....

I wish I would have had my camera on me the other day when I walked into the downtown mall entrance. I had just braved several blocks of freezing cold wintry weather, and was on my way to meet my husband. By the time I reached the mall, I was covered from head to toe in snow, gasping for air, and frozen from the face down. I stomped my feet on the rug in an effort to remove some of the snow, but it was so saturated that it just made a smushy sound. And, that was when I noticed that I was surrounded by people. The doors were close to the bus stop so it wasn't unusal for people to wait for buses there, but becuase of the severity of the situation it was a packed house. And, when I looked up I started laughing and couldn't stop.....

Those poor people...they were all standing there watching others struggle in from the cold...and the matching looks of pure terror on their faces was priceless as they stood there and looked out...and saw what they would eventually have to face.

Okay, so maybe it doesn't sound so funny to everyone else but to me..it was HILARIOUS, which is why I'm a horrible person....because I find humor in other people's fear.