Lost in translation...

I took Rachel to her 15-month check-up about a month ago and had to stifle laughter when the doctor asked, "Does she say anything besides mommy or daddy?"

Um, yes, she does. In fact, we're hard pressed to get Rachel to say mommy or daddy but she's more than happy to spout off, "I want ball" or "Norman, back up!" She has a whole line of words that describe what she wants, "cup" "ilk" "ookie" "anket" "baa" "this!" "cracker" "book" "baby" "utside"... you get the idea.

But, no matter how hard we try I'm afraid we will never figure out what this means:

First we hear a giggle giggle chuckle laugh (possibly even a snort) which is followed immediately by a SCREAM, a kick, and what can only be described as a full blown tantrum being thrown on the floor.

Folks, we're at a loss. What exactly does this mean? We think we might have a few ideas...

1. "Mom...dad....I need some space"
2. "In an effort to keep from spoiling you with the sound of my laughter, I will now scream my head off until you wish you could remove yours"
3. "I'm sorry, I'm only under contract to be happy for 5 minutes at a time. Did you miss the memo?"
4. "Yes, we're all glad that tomorrow is Monday"
5. "I'm almost two. I completely lack self-control and have no desire to learn more about this inside voice that you speak of"
6. "I want a pony"
7. "Where's the beef?"
8. "This is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real emergency you would have received detailed instructions and possibly a glass of wine"
9. "Look mom, no hands"
10. "I don't know how it got in my bag. I'm just holding it for a friend"


Regardless of the true meaning behind this perplexing and quite frustrating behavior there will always be an upside....she is more than happy to visit her time-out chair every single time.

Weigh-in 8...

Today is the final weigh-in for The Fat Olympics.

I didn't win (unless the person in the lead fell apart, ate 40,000 calories, and sat in bed for 5 days). BUT, I was able to accomplish quite a bit.

I lost three pounds this week and am celebrating with a Friday burrito.

I am able to fit into my "regular" jeans.

Now, I just need to keep it off and keep on going.

Good luck to me!

Please don't...

It's time for another post inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
And because I love making lists...

My Top 10 Summer Don'ts

Please don't...

1. Ask me to work past 5:00 or on a weekend before mid-August

2. Be surprised if I refuse to wear shorts in public. Have you seen my legs?

3. Wonder why I refuse to wear shorts (see #2), but am okay with sporting a swim suit (I don't have to make sense all of the time)

4. Expect me to give up ice cream even if I'm technically "on a diet"

5. Destroy my dreams. I have the right to envision myself sipping a glass of iced tea under a shade tree with my feet dangling in Rachel's pool while she quietly (ha ha) splashes around

6. Remind me that next Fall my husband will be even busier than he was last year and I probably won't see him very much. Just let me bask in the glory of his presence now.

7. Tell me that I can't wear white before Memorial Day. I'm not sure my generation really cares about that anymore. And besides, Stacy and Clinton don't follow that rule.

8. Make me feel guilty for taking time on the weekends to do fun things like going for a hike or playing at the beach even though my house is a wreck, my flower beds are weedy, and loads of (clean) laundry are piling up around the dryer.

9. Let me forget to put sunscreen on Rachel. Wow...I can totally see me doing that.

10. Remind me that Winter is just a few months away.

I hear voices...

While getting ready for work this morning I couldn't help but feel a bit over-privileged. Our home was built not long after the Civil War but you should see the view we have...from our bathroom.

This morning's view made my mind wander... and then I started hearing voices. But, no worries, they were the good kind. You know, the voices of those from my past and present who have shaped and inspired me.

I wonder if these people know just how much influence they still have over me...

My Aunt Edna- I wish I could remember the little rhythm that we used to repeat together. Every time I pull Rachel around in her wagon I start it..."Ice cream soda...something something something... tell me the name of your honey bunch!" Edna and I have shared a lot special moments together and I love it that she still influences me.

My Previous Co-Worker, Connie- I hear her laugh all of the time. She truly loves life and family and friends, and all of that can be heard in her laugh. When I remember her laugh I am reminded that life isn't about deadlines and corporate ladders- it's about laughter.

My High School Spanish Teacher- Dean was as white as they come but his heart was wrapped in the Spanish culture, which was projected in his voice. He loved teaching and sharing about his adventures. Every time I let a Spanish word slip out (sometimes you just need to use another language to get your message across) I hear his excitement and enthusiasm. If I can be half the mentor he was I will consider myself to be a success.

My Best Friend Melissa- You will never forget the voice of your college roommate...especially one like Melissa. Whenever I laugh, I hear her. Whenever I groan in dismay or frustration, I hear her. Whenever I give or receive advice, I hear her.

My Preacher, Mick- Anyone who knows Mick knows that his voice is unforgettable. But, it's not just his voice that I often hear but his emotions....honesty, frustration, joy, empathy, fear, and enthusiasm. God speaks through our leaders and because of Mick I know that God has a lot to say.


Oddly enough, I'm also hearing another voice at the moment....

It's my boss....

And I believe he's telling me to get to work.

Weigh-in 7...

This week I had three lunch dates, two evening meals out (with dessert), and only got up at 5:00 AM to exercise twice.

But...

I also ate tons of lettuce, played outside with Rachel (pulling that wagon around for hours), worked in my garden, and walked during my other two lunch breaks.

So...

I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scales and realized that I had lost two pounds.

However...

Too bad they were the same stinkin pounds that I lost last week. And I'm not kidding either. While on vacation for a few days last week I threw caution (and common sense) to the wind, ate like a horse, and paid for it on Monday.

So, even though the scales were two pounds lower this morning than they were on Monday I don't get to count them because really, I'm just back to where I was last Friday (which was when I had my last official weigh-in). Confusing enough?

Don't worry, losing weight is confusing for everyone involved...especially for my pants.

One week left! Here's to my last chance to come from behind for the win!

With age comes...

I went to the doctor this morning for what was supposed to be a simple checkup. I left with a page listing all of my ailments (so I wouldn't forget anything), a booklet telling me how to treat each one of them, and so many prescriptions that the pharmacy has informed me they won't have my order ready for pick-up until Friday morning. Really?!

When did this happen? When did I get this old?

1. My boss and I were joking yesterday about a scene from "Wayne's World". We thought we were pretty funny until we realized that the students who were around us had NO IDEA what or who we were talking about.

2. If I sit for too long in the same position my legs cry out in pain when I try to move them.

3. To "sleep in" is to get up around 6:10

4. I attended a Ladies Supper the other night at church and was, by far, NOT the youngest one there (that was a real shocker for me).

5. Working at the same job for 25 years no longer sounds daunting.... I already have over 10 years in.


Oh well. It could be worse....

At least I have a few years left before this happens...

Weigh-in 6b...

We took a short vacation last week and although we were gone for just over 24 hours it feels like we must have been on a month-long trip to the moon. We returned home to a garden that had literally sprouted potatoes over night, new blooms on my flowers, and foot-high dandelions standing in our freshly mowed lawn. And don't even get me started on the number of emails in my inbox. What would the world do if we could actually afford to go on a vacation that required me to be away from the office (and email) for more than two days? I can't even imagine...

Needless to say I felt a bit disconnected from reality and completely forgot to post my weight loss update from last week. In order to make up for it I'm giving you all a gift....a photo of my darling child caught in a rare moment of stillness.

And P.S. I lost two more pounds but probably gained it all back over the weekend. Who could possibly resist my husband's fabulous homemade sugar cookies....especially when they're baked on a rainy weekend when you have nothing else to do but sit inside and eat cookies?

Here's to the promise of another good week!

I'm trapped...

Julia over at Work, Wife, Mom... Life is one of my favorite working mom bloggers. And for Working Mom's Wednesday she's asking us to write about a topic that is near and dear to my heart....do I typically run early, on time, or late?

First of all, how in the world does anyone ever run perfectly on time? They show up like a cloud, floating in quietly... almost effortlessly. They drive up in a freshly washed mini-van, out pop the children dressed head to toe in matching outfits and smiles and are followed closely behind by mom, who is wearing the latest fashions and sporting perfect hair.

Then there are the late people. You know when they have arrived because you hear the screech of the tires as they pull in. The radio is blasting Barney tunes, the children are screaming and running in different directions, at least one of them is wearing a tutu (because in desperation mom finally gave in), and the mother, bless her heart, is just glad that she finally got yesterday's gum out of her hair and was able to find two clean articles of clothing that don't necessarily match but cover up all of the essential parts.

There are also people like me. I arrive early to anything that doesn't require me to bring my child. I hate being late. But, if I have to include Rachel in anything than I'm just happy to get there before it's over. Take church for instance....if we make it to our seats before the offering is taken we feel pretty good about ourselves.

So, in response to Julia's question....I'm an early person trapped in the body of a family who tends to run late.

Weigh-in 5b...

You might remember that last week's weigh-in was a disaster. I was mad at myself and frustrated that I can't seem to get off this roller-coaster of success and failure. Each week I either hit a home run or warm the bench...no singles or doubles for me. Isn't it strange how you can psych yourself up so much and be so excited to take on another challenge and then one little bump comes along and you fall apart?

When Rachel falls down she usually looks annoyed that she has wasted her time, but is then immediately back on her feet, running down the uneven sidewalks again...only to fall and repeat the entire process over. Yes, sometimes she cries but more often than not she's ready to just get up and go again. She has an agenda and a mission and has decided that a scraped knee isn't going to get in her way. Perhaps, just maybe, I could learn something from her.

This week I stuck to my strict diet (yes, I'm HUNGRY by the way) and got lots of exercise. Yesterday I didn't exercise at all and I went out with friends for lunch (crab cakes, tomato bisque and for dessert, yes I had dessert, amazingly delicious graham cracker ice cream). Normally this slight deviation from my diet would have generated an "eat all the crap that you want for the rest of the day after all, you have already failed today" mentality. But, instead I got right back up, dusted the crumbs off my mouth, and kept running down the uneven sidewalks.

And I have to say, I'm quite proud of myself.

I lost 5 pounds this week AND reached my first major milestone when I finally hit the 50 pounds lost mark.

Last week I declared that this week would be different.

And I was right.

It's hard to believe that I could ever be wrong.

Write this down...

I have been exercising my tail off (almost literally) and this morning I discovered that...

I hit my first goal!! FINALLY! It has taken me almost 16 months (3 of which don't count because I couldn't exercise for the first 12 weeks after my c-section, correction, I should NOT have tried to exercise that early), but I have finally lost 50 pounds, most of which is baby weight. Can you believe it?!

If you have ever worn a pair of pants that leaves painful red marks around your mid-section than I KNOW you can appreciate this news.... my "almost skinny" jeans not only zip but they're even... gasp... comfortable.

So, what's next?

Keep. It. Off.

And...

Keep going.

After all, I have 30 more pounds to go.

And P.S.- I really wanted this post to be fun and witty but the thing is... I've been getting up so early and working-out so much that I'm just flat out exhausted and can't possibly bring my A-game today.

Maybe tomorrow...

That is, if I can lift my arms to type. Who knew early 90s work-out videos could be so ridiculously painful?!

Hoppy Easter...

Better late than never, I always say (not really, but I'm in desperate need of an excuse for just now posting pictures from Easter).

For the second year in a row I hosted an Easter meal and for the second year in a row I made the mistake of cleaning, doing laundry, and cooking the meal all on the Saturday before Easter. I went to bed around Midnight completely exhausted, and I have no one to blame for that but myself.

Rachel didn't quite get the idea of hunting for Easter eggs. We assured her that it will all make sense next year...after all there's also a bunny involved, how could it NOT make sense?

The table. I can't believe I forgot to take a picture of the food. I'll tell you this, it was mighty tasty if I do say so myself.

Our very own little Easter bunny. She looks harmless but try sitting through an entire Easter service with this little ball of energy.