She's just not that into you...

This week’s entry from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

Signs that your little one is just not that into you anymore…
(She’s 8-months old going on 16)

On weekends she doesn’t nap because we’re so boring we can’t even make a baby tired.

She squeals in joy when she sees a kitty, when she sees us she speeds off in the opposite direction.

She laughs at us but it’s pretty obvious that she’s only mildly amused by our childish noises and ridiculous antics.

She was not born a snuggler; she will never be a snuggler.

Weekends are just as long for us as they are for her.

She acts super cute at church so others will hold her during the service.

She is learning to climb steps and hot wire cars so she can make a fast get-away.

She snorts when she laughs really hard (OK so maybe this has nothing to do with the topic, but isn’t that hilarious?).

P.S. Day 7!

Working mom wednesday...

It's Working Mom Wednesday and this is my first time participating in the weekly prompt. I think this week's is quite fitting seeing that I'm a mom and I work full time AND I'm getting ready to start my new job.

Does having a career/job make me a better or worse mother?
This one is easy....Better. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter and would love to be able to spend more time with her. However, I also need adult conversations, clothes that don't get covered in spit-up every few hours and the ability to leave the room without lugging my 20-pound child with me for safe keeping.

If anything, I wouldn't mind keeping her in daycare full-time so I can work part-time and then come home and actually get housework done. What a novel idea...a clean house...interesting.....

Anyway, for those of you who are keeping track (or care), today is day 8!

9...

Less than 2 full weeks until I start my new job. Unfortunately I'm spending so much time trying to get ready that I can't seem to find time to blog very much. Rats.

We're taking family pictures tonight. I can't even begin to imagine how they'll turn out. R can't sit still, Jake doesn't really like taking pictures and I'm fat. What was it that Cathy cartoon used to say? Ugh?

10...

As you may have read earlier, last Friday I turned in my 2-week notice. I got a promotion and will be working in another part of the institution on "the other side of the river", which around here is almost as different as the North is from the South.

When I started here almost 10 years ago I worked with just a filing cabinet that I pushed around to different desks, then I graduated to a reception area before moving up to my present cubicle. It only took me 10 years to do it, but I have finally earned myself an office with a door, and possibly even a window!

As excited as I am to be starting a new job I'm also just as terrified. I hate starting new jobs. I hate feeling like a idiot and having to fumble around like a old lady in the dark. My "first-day-lunch" has always been the same one...a peanut butter sandwich. Why? Because who wants their first question on the first day of their new job to be, Where is the kitchen?

So, keep checking back to see how things are going for me. On Wednesday I will get keys to my office, which I can't wait to see (don't I sound like the most immature teenager ever?). I'm nervous and still trying to figure out what has possessed me to think I can take on another huge challenge this year (because apparently moving and having a baby weren't enough for me).

But, ladies (and gentlemen?) the new countdown has begun!
10.....

10 reasons why I love my job (continued)...

The other day I didn't quite finish my post on the top 10 reasons why I love my job, but I eluded to a possible exciting ending.

Here's your number 1 reason folks...

1. I just turned in my 2-week notice.

Ode to single parents...

I love Fridays, who doesn’t? I love them mostly because Friday evenings are literally the only family time we have this semester. The rest of the week I don’t see my husband and the only time he sees poor little R is when we’re dropping her off at daycare. In fact, this morning I confessed to my husband that I’m so used to not having him around that when he is home I almost can’t handle having him in my space. I’m not sure how he felt about that.

Though this past month has been difficult I can honestly say that it has been a good learning experience for me and a real eye opener. I have learned to manage my time better and have given up on my quest to become the bestest mom EVER. I have also developed a new appreciation for single parents…how in the world do they do it?!

My ode to single parents…

My hat goes off to you, those who do it all;
You take care of your children, and catch them when they fall.

Your role is that of mom and dad and also money maker;
You work hard every day and still are not a taker.

You give and give and give some more, and do it all alone;
I believe that God is storing for you extra jewels and a throne.

And through it all you have managed to raise your daughter and your son,
To be the best children ever because you are NUMBER ONE!

10 reasons why i love my job...

This week’s entry from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

10 reasons why I love my job…

10. I can honestly say that I’m thankful for this job.
9. I get to design announcements/invitations and (sort of) plan menus for upcoming events.
8. Never a day goes by that is dull.
7. I really do enjoy (most of) my co-workers.
6. I don’t work in a service area and rarely get phone calls.
5. We get pretty nice Christmas presents.
4. My boss travels a lot.
3. My boss’ office is located in a different building.
2. My office boasts a very child-friendly attitude.

And the number 1 reason why I love my job…
wait for it…..wait for it…. (drum roll….)
1.

Don’t hold your breath folks. My most favorite part of this job is yet to be determined. But stay tuned, it just might get exciting….. (I’m not kidding)

Messengers from God...

Contrary to popular belief, planning ahead and being detail oriented does have its drawbacks. For example, I am paranoid…a lot….about everything. I’m sure it’s normal for mothers to be a little bit worried or somewhat scared but I go over the top when it comes to being fearful of bad things happening. I’m not borderline needing to be committed (yet) but now that I have a child I find myself thinking up the worst possible sceneries for just about every situation…

1. Winter driving season is fast approaching and every time we meet an irresponsible driver on our morning commute I immediately assume that one of them is going to crash into us because they’re going 95 mph on an icy road.

2. This summer we got pretty lucky. It rained a lot but we actually didn’t have very many tornado warnings, which was quite unusual for this part of the country. That’s probably for the best anyway because whenever red shows up on the radar I picture us huddled in the basement, fighting to keep killer mice (who suddenly appear in our basement) off of Rachel while the winds destroy our home and fly our cats to Canada.

3. I hate stairs. If we could move to a ranch-style home that would be marvelous. Rachel recently discovered stairs and loves to try to climb them. Last night I swear I was only gone for 10 seconds and when I came back into the room I looked over and she was half-way up to the first landing. I instantly screamed because I couldn’t see her making it off the stairs without breaking her neck and landing me in jail for child neglect. It finally occurred to me that I could safely remove her myself and will purchase baby gates this weekend.

4. What if my child looks perfectly healthy but indeed has some kind of scary life-altering disorder or disease? Or what if all of the sudden she stops progressing and never learns how to walk? Sometimes she sits on the floor with her legs crossed and flaps her arms; we think she’s REALLY excited about something but what if she’s actually trying to tell us that she can’t breath or her finger is about to fall off? All valid concerns people.

I’m telling you…my mind wonders and these kinds of thoughts roll around in my brain ALL DAY. When I was younger (and probably less responsible) I would simply have a cold adult beverage to dull my scary thoughts. What do moms do?

Apparently one of our office phone numbers is very similar to the local Psych Department because every so often we get a caller who needs to speak with someone in Psych….perhaps they’re actually messengers from God who are trying to tell me to take a hint.

Interesting……

Lord please bless this shopping list...

Often times when I start making lists in my head a song from my childhood comes to mind.

Lord please bless my shopping list…

Lord, I need to talk to you there’s so much on my mind. So many burdens (something something) it’s (something something something).

Okay, so maybe I can’t remember the entire song but the point is that we often ask God for so much that we don’t realize how crazy we sound. If I was asking God to bless my shopping list this is probably how it would go…

Lord,

Thank you for all of my friends and family and my job and my home and my safety and my general satisfaction with life. It’s really nice that you have given me all of that stuff but here’s what I also want:

I would like to have more time with Rachel in the evenings and more time to get things done after we put her to bed. I don’t want to go to bed any later than 10:30 so please try to work within the parameters of a regular 24-hour day and bless me with more time.

And by the way, we didn’t get to take a vacation this year. That’s not fair and I would like to insist that next summer we go on a really great vacation to make up for the one we missed this year. And no, a two-day trip to the in-laws does not count as a vacation.

Lastly, here are a few things I need: new car, TV for our bedroom, telescope for Jake, clothes for Rachel to wear next spring/summer, a wooden swing set, a week where we don’t have to buy groceries or spend any money at all, and a size 10 pair of jeans that my thighs fit into.

Amen

Rainbows and unicorns...

I have been trying to avoid writing about three certain topics for several reasons. First, I’m not sure if I want to be held accountable or if I just want to vent. Secondly, I’m not sure what to say. And finally, I’m afraid no one will care and I’ll lose my small (but very loyal) fan base. However, I can’t put it off any longer…

Guilt is eating me alive. I feel guilty about everything…not cooking enough meals or having my weekly menus planned, piles of laundry that seem to appear in every room of the house, missing obvious “parental must-do’s and must-haves”, weeds in my flower beds…you name it and I feel guilty for not having it, doing it or addressing it. I compare myself to other mothers and bloggers and tell myself, “If they can do it, so can I.” I figure that the time will finally come when this mind set gives way to a more rational thought process but until then….I’ll eat my guilt with a side of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that another thing I feel guilty about is my weight. I’ve been using the “I have a newborn” excuse for entirely too long. My child is no longer a newborn and winter is coming and I have nothing to wear. I want to fit back into my pants and be a hot mom but I also want to eat, and more often than not that means grabbing a bag of chips to munch on while I keep my child from climbing the stairs or sitting on the cat. I have good intentions but I also have a distorted hope that my body will feel bad for me and decide to drop the pounds out of sheer sympathy. That alone should be enough to get someone committed.

And lastly, I don’t want to blog about why I blog. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and last week I even had a chance to write about it as part of Mama Kat’s weekly writer’s workshop but I avoided the topic like it was a dead skunk. I like to tell myself that I blog as a journal to myself and happy unicorns and rainbows and nice things blah blah blah….The truth is, I think I blog because I want to be one of those famous bloggers. Am I self-centered, craving attention or just bored? Hmmm…that’s a tough one.

Higher education...

I may have a college education but my daughter provides more learning opportunities than any high ranking institution every will. Just this week she taught me that:

1. A little bit of snot never slows a child down…
2. Neither does a lot of snot.
3. The best way to check for new teeth is to turn the child upside down and make her laugh.
4. A child, who previously was not a “naked baby”, can easily turn into one and be completely happy wearing nothing but a smile and a determination to make it to the toys on the other side of the room.
5. God gives us beautiful evenings so we can take LONG walks.
6. It is really tough not to cry the first time you see the “pouty face”.
7. Pants are optional…
8. but only for babies.
9. Sweet potatoes and apple sauce are almost impossible to remove from hair.
10. All a baby really needs is a mirror and a smile….

Proper foot care...

This week’s Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Entry:

Sometimes I trick myself into believing that I can plan for and anticipate almost any kind of situation that might arise and be able to handle it accordingly. I like to think that since I’m really detail oriented nothing will get by me. Last weekend the cosmic universe put me in my place, again.

Anyone who lives in this community knows that autumn Saturdays are for sporting the local team’s colors, regardless of your age or gender. Poor little R is no exception to this rule so before we left for the grocery store I changed her diaper and stuffed her into an appropriately colored outfit. Just as we were about to walk out the door I looked down at my bundle of joy and realized that she looked an awful lot like a little boy. My actual thoughts- “Crap, this kid looks like a boy. She’s so stinkin cute that I can’t imagine we’re going to make it back home without the entire store telling me how beautiful my baby BOY is. Ugh. Hey look….a little clip-on bow was carelessly tossed on the kitchen counter. How perfect. I’ll stick this in her hair; people will see the bow and know that I am, in fact, carrying the cutest girl ever to have been born.” It all made perfect sense to me and I was very proud of myself for being to thoughtful.

I was turning the corner by the dairy case when an elderly gentleman spotted the little green bow bouncing up and down. He came over and immediately began a fairly in-depth conversation with her. I, trying to be a little bit funny, announced “Yes, she’s a HAM.” The poor fellow immediately quieted down, looked at me in shock and proclaimed that since the child was wearing a bow he just assumed that he was talking to a little girl. It took me awhile to realize that he thought I had said “HIM”. Imagine the awkward conversation that followed as I tried to explain to the now disgruntled visitor that it was, in fact, a girl and I had said “ham” while trying to point out that she’s cute and she knows it. Yes…I looked like quite an ass.

This awkward conversation reminded me that it doesn’t matter how much you plan ahead, if you were born with your foot in your mouth it will always be hard to speak clearly.

Sigh…..

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (the working mom version)...

Everything happens for a reason; good luck trying to figure out the perfect balance.
A time to be pregnant, a time to work at shedding the baby weight;
A time to fix a real meal, a time to throw a frozen pizza in the oven;
A time to cry in frustration, a time to laugh with joy;
A time to keep everything organized, a time to just not care;
A time to stay up with a sick or grumpy child, a time to rest;
A time to clean, a time to live in filth so you can spend more time with your baby;
A time to go to work, a time to take a sick day and stay home to sleep;
A time to clean the snot off, a time to let it stick to her face;
A time to hold her up, a time to let her fall and bonk her head;
A time to use cheap diapers, a time to spend the extra money and buy some that you trust;
A time to dress her in a cute outfit, a time to let daddy pick the outfit;
A time to force her to wear shoes, a time to let her go barefoot in the grass;
A time to update the baby book, a time to make a note on the calendar and write it down later;

A time to spend the evening with her, a time to call a babysitter.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under the Heavens.
A time to be born, a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, a time to cast away;
A time to reap, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silent, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.

My single/childless friends...

This week's entry from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

List the things you no longer have in common with your single/childless friends...and why you love them anyways.

1. Their conversations don't start with the words, "I know this makes me a horrible mother but..."

2. Their vacations cost more than a tank of gas (there and back).

3. They actually have time to sleep in, exercise regularly and cook real meals.

4. Not only do they know what's playing at the movie theater but they can even tell you what is worth seeing.

5. Going out involves a drink and/or a fun outfit.

6. They own a fun outfit.

7. They can tell you what the sermon was about last Sunday.

8. Their facebook picture albums are titled "Chicago July 10" and "Fun things I did last weekend" instead of "spring/summer 2010".

9. They don't get up at the butt crack of dawn to wash bottles, fold laundry and get tonight's meal into the crockpot.

10. They remember what they did yesterday and can tell you exactly what they will be doing tomorrow.

We might not have as much in common but I still love them...especially because they think it's fun to buy stuff for the baby.

Mom zombie...

Jake loves zombie movies and I have to admit that ever since I met him I too have developed an odd taste for them. The overly dramatic gore and ridiculous scripts make me laugh every time, regardless of whether or not they are supposed to be funny. It occurred to me this morning that perhaps the real reason why I’m beginning to like them is because they remind me so much of… well…me.

Zombies and new(ish) mothers actually have a lot in common. We’re both dead tired and would do anything for a quick meal. Plus, we walk around in a daze and find ourselves in strange locations without being able explain how we got there. In fact, really the only difference between a zombie and myself is that zombies chase people to kill or maim them but I chase R to prevent her from being killed or maimed. And man can that kid move.

Some of my loyal readers (thanks guys) may remember that about a month ago I wrote about being sick. Guess what…I’m still sick and now I’m also losing my voice. I am convinced that if I could just sleep for a few extra hours, eat a decent meal and get in a good heart healthy dose of exercise I would feel much better. I know better though. I know that’s not going to happen. So, instead I will stick my arms out, moan like an old lady and hope no one runs in fear when they see me coming.

Words of wisdom...

My life really wouldn't be that different (I don't think) if I was given a chance to do it again. There are, however, a few small things I would tweak if given the chance.

To my 16-year-old self:

Don't quit piano lessons. All of your friends are going to give senior recitals and you're really going to regret not being up there with them. Plus, deep down you enjoy playing and will miss it.

Don't buy the purple dress for your junior prom. Trust me.

Don't buy the "silver" dress for your senior prom. Seriously, trust me.

Contrary to what you claim (in a childish rant aimed at your business teacher), you DO need to learn how to use a computer, type and run a 10-key keypad. Also, the Internet isn't going away. Learn what a search engine is.

Take chemistry in high school. Otherwise, you're going to waste an entire summer in college sitting in a smelly classroom with a broken air conditioner.

While you're at it, take Advanced Literature too.

Get a job you bum.

Red is not your color. Keep it out of your hair and off your lips.

Don't train for volleyball by jumping rope on cement. Duh, you should know better.

Seriously, the purple dress, don't do it.

If i could save time in a bottle...

I'm catching onto how stressful this parenting thing is pretty quickly. This morning was so crazy that not only did I forget to pack my lunch but I'm also pretty sure I left a half-eaten banana sitting on the couch. I can't wait to smell that one later.

What did I do with my time before we had a baby?

Before:
Got up in the morning and leisurely got ready for work, showed up 20 minutes early fully dressed, wearing makeup and a smile.
Now:
Get up and work my tail off before the child wakes up, get ready for work and, if it's a good day, put on some makeup and pray that my clothes match and show up for work just in time to hear the 8:00 whistle blow (if it's a good day).

Before:
Came home, exercised, ate dinner, sat on the couch, fell asleep watching TV and went to bed
Now:
Come home, try desperately to get my clothes changed before the child starts screaming for supper, eat something from the cupboard in passing, spend a good portion of the evening chasing after a very inquisitive child, participate in the "putting to bed" fight (and win), work on my to-do list and sit down just in time to watch the 10:30 episode of Seinfeld.

Before:
Woke up on Saturday morning around 9:30 and lounged around for awhile before doing some cleaning and laundry, finished my work around 2:00, and waited for Jake to come home from studying so we could catch dinner and a movie.
Now:
Wake up at the same God awful early-bird time I always do, clean like mad so that Jake can watch Rachel before he leaves to go study for the day, spend the rest of the day wondering where my sanity is and fall into bed around midnight, starving because I haven't eaten a meal since lunch on Friday.

Before:
Put up stockings for the cats so that Santa Cat would bring them something nice.
Now:
Look forward to spending my favorite time of the year (except for football season of course) with my favorite little gal.