The heat is on....

Last night I worked late. I was sitting here typing, with gloves on, almost able to see my breath, when it occurred to me just how ridiculous the situation was. My little Pooh Bear was all snuggly and warm and ready for bed and I was sitting in a cold fluorescently lit office miles away from her.

Tonight I'm taking her trick-or-treating and this morning the heat finally came on in my office...all is right with the world again.

I missed something...

Don't get me wrong, I love my new job but there are a few things I miss....



1. I miss blogging. I hardly ever have time to take lunch breaks anymore so my blog life is suffering greatly. How dare my professional career impede on my social blog life, right?



2. I miss heat. My office is new and they're not done with the renovations yet so the heat can't be turned on. It's 40 degrees outside but we all have our windows open because it keeps the place warmer (you think I'm kidding or exaggerating here, but I'm not....that's the crazy thing).



3. I miss common sense. I hate feeling like I don't know anyone or anything and I'm tired of having to ask questions about everything. I'm a true know-it-all kind of gal so having to admit that I'm not? Well....that's tough.



4. I miss having time to walk over my lunch break. I'm getting fatter again. My normal-person jeans fit for about 2 weeks and the other day I tried to put them on and actually heard the button scream for mercy? Do you know how awful that sound is? It's worse than a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant (extra credit goes to those who know the reference here).



5. I miss my old co-worker. I like my new co-workers but none of them sit right across from me and can't share stories about flying poo or have the ability to chat about all the things we have in common.



6. I miss facebook. How will I ever know what everyone is up to?! And, what if I miss "liking" the newest hip hop happenin thing?!



7. I miss the staff discount at the hospital cafeteria. Did you know that people on this side of the river actually have to pay full price for the food they buy at University eating establishments? Gasp!



8. I miss filing cabinets. Mine on are back order and should be here in 4-6 weeks. Oh holy cow.



9. I miss my wireless keyboard and mouse. My computer lost the connections with those things all the freaking time but at least I didn't ever have to fight with cords. Plus, it just really ties the room together (more movie-line extra credit there) when cords aren't present.


10. I miss flavored coffee. My new co-workers and I share the coffee costs but no one else will drink flavored coffee so I either have to make an entire pot just for just me or suffer in silence.



But, on the bright side I don't miss my old job, my old boss, my old building, my old desk or my old duties.....and an office with a window isn't so bad either.

I know I'm stressed when...

Let's celebrate Working Moms Wednesday!

There is a small handful of people who might find some irony in my previous comment...you know who you are.

I know I'm stressed when...

I realize that my diet consists mostly of junk food, Diet Coke, and coffee.

I cry.

I make other people cry.

The thought of taking a vacation makes me tired.

I refuse to look at my to-do list because there is just too much to do.

I find Jake's socks in my drawer, Rachel's diapers in our closet and my coat hanging on the back porch.

All of my conversations begin with, "ummmm...ahhhhh...."

I can't sleep at night because my brain won't shut off.

I find myself praying that the Domestic Fairy will come along and fold my laundry, take the trash out and cook meals....and I catch myself actually thinking that such a thing could possibly exist.

I throw everything on my desk into one pile so it appears to be less overwhelming (since it's taking up less desk space).

and...of course....

I blog when I should be working.

It's one of those days (again)...

Today is one of those days....you know the type... I can't seem to shake a horrible feeling of guilt because I know that my daughter sees our babysitter more than she sees me. I hate these days. I usually have some guilt eating at my soul (like I've said before, you name it and I probably feel guilty for not doing it, thinking it, or even knowing what it is) but today the guilt is just a little bit harder to carry.

The other day, out of concern that I was missing some sort of pivotal piece of information on raising a child, I got out one of the many (worthless) parenting books that Jake and I bought and sure enough....my hunch was correct....I'm a horrible mom (or so I feel). Okay, so maybe I'm not horrible, after all, I can't possibly be the worst one (the same thought process is also applied to doctor's visits and annual pelvic exams), but still, I can't help but wonder how one person can possibly miss so many cues. Duh...she's not eating well because she's ready to be moved up to less squishy food. And those "words" she says like momma, dadda and grandpa...she's actually SAYING those, she's not just spouting off a string of consonants and vowels anymore. And teeth...more of those are on their way.

This past weekend I finally found the nerve to put away her 6-months clothes and I actually found some newborn stuff that I had obviously resisted packing earlier (yes, they're in storage now; I put on my big girl pants, grabbed a box of kleenexes and shut the lid on the storage container). We just took her 9-month bear picture and we're already making plans for her big one-year birthday party. Really? When did all this happen? Where did all the time go? And, why is this little girl choosing to crawl to Jane (our amazingly wonderful babysitter) instead of me? Ouch.

Oh well....I do know one thing...I know this winter is going to be difficult. She already refuses to wear socks and knows how to yank shoes off. Oh child.....sigh.....

So, how's it going....

My first week at my new job is coming to a close and I have to say, it has definitely been interesting. I was expecting to have some problems getting my email moved over and I wasn't surprised when I called at least 3 people by the wrong name and flat out embarrassed myself when I mistook one of our Directors for a student employee. However, I have to admit that a few things have caught me off guard...

1. My office is freakING cold. I don't just mean a little chilly. The gal next door wears a blanket and uses a hand warmer to keep her blood flowing. I opened my window to let in the warm fall air.

2. Meetings. It's not that I hate them, in fact some of them have been rather informative and almost enjoyable. But...when do people get their work done? Which leads into my next point...

3. I get here by 8:00 and leave around 5:02. Last night I almost tripped over the printer trying to get out the door because everyone else was long gone and the lights were all off. My thought was...huh? When do people ever find time to get things done?

4. I am exhausted. My feet are killing me. This afternoon I am putting my comfy shoes on because, in my opinion, running shoes DO match dress pants quite nicely.

5. Moving into a recently renovated office is heaven. My desk drawers aren't full of anyone else's crumbs and I can order new office furniture. In fact, who needs Christmas when your new 3-drawer lateral filing cabinet is on it's way?

6. I am working with my brother-in-law. Not really but there's a guy here that reminds me so much of my sister's husband that I can hardly remember his real name. I keep having to stop myself from calling him "Crazy-uncle Jeremy."

7. Steps suck. We're on the 3rd floor, which doesn't sound too bad until you see the amount of steps it takes to get up here. All of the ceilings in this old building are about 50,000 feet high so it's really like we're climbing 6 flights of stairs. And no one...takes..the elevator. ugh! I would die before I become "that person"...you know...the one that is perceived as being too lazy to walk up the stairs.

8. There are only 2 women's bathrooms in this building and neither of them are on my floor (insert complaint related to the previous point). But, I really can't complain. The men only have one restroom and it's in the basement. (evil laugh coming...hahahahaHAHAHAAH)

9. Who needs water when the coffee pot is just across the hall?

and finally...

10. You can have a Ph.D. AND a sense of humor. My new supervisor has both.

This is me...

I might be struggling to get things done but there is always time for Mama Kat's Weekly Writer's Workshop entry.

This is how I see myself...

Last year at this time I looked like this:

But secretly, I wanted to look like this:

Some days, this is a pretty accurate picture of how I feel

:

But, I should probably look at least half this good:

I am almost positive that this is NOT what my family sees because....

This is me...

When work seems overwhelming, I...

It's Working Mommy Wednesday and I have to admit, it's hard to even find time to take a moment to eat lunch and write this blog post. But, I need to. I need to hear nothing but the tapping of the keys and the wind blowing through my window and threatening to push my plant off the radiator (I love old buildings).

Today's "assignment" is quite fitting seeing that I'm only on day three of my new job and already I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I hate starting new jobs. I hate being the new person and I really hate having to ask so many questions (I like to think I know it all already). But, when work seems overwhelming there are a few ways that I deal with it, both good and bad.

I give up. No, I don't just throw my hands in the air completely but I actually force myself to look at the project, see where I need help and (gulp) ask...for...help.

I take a walk. I should do this every day anways (espeically since my pants are feeling rather tight again). However, on those really stressful days, the ones where I should be glued to my computer all day, I rip myself from my desk and go outside to get some fresh air so my brain can breathe again.

Caffeine, Chocolate, etc....you know the drill.

I cheer myself on..."Come on Angie, just get through one more email or one more mundane taks and then you can go home and enjoy an evening with your family."

I cry. And now that I have an actual office I can shut my door and sniffle in peace.

That all being said, aside from not having email access or a published phone number for a few days, I am getting along very well and have, so far, enjoyed every minute of my new job.

Day 1...

So I started my new job today. Aside from my email being down and my phone not working I think it has been pretty smooth sailing so far. I got my boxes unpacked this morning (where did all of that junk come from?) and was surprised to find that I have more food than actual work-related items. Is that considered pathetic or being really prepared?

Oh well, either way....I'm here and trying to begin work in a job that was just created in an office that just moved into a newly renovated space where over 90% of the employees have been here for less than a combined 14 months.

Is it 5:00 yet (or 4:30 or whenever it is that I decide to leave for the day)?

It's so hard to say good-bye...

Is it though? Is it actually hard to say good-bye to a job that I’m glad to be leaving? It’s hard to say good-bye to good friends and co-workers but not really the job.

I have so many thoughts and emotions (mostly fear and anxiety) running through my head right now that I can not even begin to type a coherent blog post. So instead I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes and hope for the best…

“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.”
-Bernard Bailey

I never...

Its Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop day. Hooray!
Describe a job you absolutely would never want to do...

I grew up on a farm and helped wean pigs, bail hay in the middle of the summer and clean out manure pits.

In high school, as punishment for bad behavior, my mother got me a job at a local bakery that required me to be there by 5:00 AM every Saturday morning.

I worked at a cheese shop even though I absolutely hate cheese.

I over-excelled in a college math class and got stuck tutoring an underachieving schmuck.

Before the days of DVDs and Netflix I worked in a video store in a Spanish speaking part of town and couldn’t read any of the titles or communicate with the majority of our customers (but I got all of the free gum balls I could ever possibly want).

I worked at the Wal-Mart Service desk. Worst job ever.

I cleaned hotel rooms during one of the hottest summers on record when the AC was being renovated and couldn’t be used.

I packed containers to be used for shipping donated eyes in.

I worked in a clinic that was designed to accommodate 200 patients per day but quickly grew to over 300 visitors/day on a regular basis (imagine the wait times for those happy campers).

I worked for a woman who went through 8 secretaries in 10 years and never had children because she didn’t want to ruin her figure.

I won’t go into my current job….which ends in just two days by the way…. and then I’m onto bigger and better things.

BUT...

I could never imagine and will absolutely never...

Ever be...

A stay at home mom.

Do you know how hard that job is?!

Harvest time...

This is why we moved back to the country.

Testing the Corn with Grandpa

Still no socks....we're in for a tough winter
Working into the night...

Farm animals and belly buttons...

Like all other parents, my husband and I have no doubt that our little girl is in fact the most precious child ever. I’m pretty sure she was by far the cutest newborn I have ever seen and I am convinced that whenever she smiles God feels just a little bit better about himself for creating her. Yep, she’s perfect.

The last few weeks have been rough for us. Jake’s schedule has kept him away a lot so on top of working full-time at work and home I have also been dangerously close to living the life of a single mother. God bless those people. It’s not unusual for me to get up at 5:15 and start working and not stop until 10:30 at night when I can finally sit down. I am exhausted but my baby’s tummy is full and her eyes are shut tight, my laundry is folded (but probably not yet put away), my bills are paid, I have put in a full day’s work and still found time to breath (at least a little bit). It’s about that time that I also start feeling guilty for being relieved that our little jumping bean is finally in bed. Her level of energy makes me tired.

But, all is not lost. Just when I was on the verge of having a small melt down the good Lord sent me a horrible headache. Last evening my head hurt so badly I couldn’t walk straight so I reluctantly asked Jake to please help me take care of Rachel. I felt guilty for asking for help. I felt guilty for taking up his study time. I felt guilty for feeling grateful that I didn’t have to run after my child all evening. But, then it happened….

Last night, for the first time ever, Rachel stopped running and about 30 minutes before bedtime she sat quietly while I read to her. It was amazing. We read the same two books over and over and over again and it was marvelous. All of the guilt and frustration and weariness melted away as I lay next to my little R and told her all about farm animals and teddy bears and jackets and hats. I can’t wait to do it all again tonight.

P.S. Did you know that we wear jackets to cover our backs, long-sleeves to cover our elbows and shirts to cover our belly buttons? I hope she remembers that when she’s 16.

Good deed for the day...

I might be new to blogging but that does not mean I have the power to avoid the inevitable lapses in regular postings. However, unlike my counterparts (other bloggers) I have a lot of very reasonable excuses (I mean explanations)…

I’m so freakin busy right now. I haven’t taken a full lunch break for quite awhile and since that is when I do most of my writing I can’t seem to ever catch up.

No amount of writer’s workshops, weekly prompts and daily happenings can ever protect me from severe cases of writer’s block.

Does anyone really care what I have to say? P.S. My husband is banned from answering this question.

Its baby Rachel’s fault. She is supposed to be my inspiration and frankly she has been severely lacking in the “funny or crazy moments” department lately. She did laugh so hard that she fell over yesterday, which was pretty funny but probably not worth writing an entire post about.

The other major portion of my writings comes from my job, hence the “working mom” part of my blog. Since I’m switching jobs next week I can’t seem to muster up enough good material because, well….who cares about this place? I do…a little bit…I guess.

My pants don’t fit right. Yes, this counts.

I’m so happy that people enjoy reading my blog and I feel really bad for letting them down when I write a boring post so on those days I choose not to write anything at all. I’m a nice person like that plus I get to count that as my good deed for the day.