Nobody likes a whiner. So for that reason I will simply state that I gained three pounds this week. BUT I did have a "come to Jesus" moment this morning and several (quite obvious) things dawned on me while I was standing there swearing at myself on the scales.
It's coming folks. Monday. And this one will be different. Just you wait and see. Next Friday I won't sound like a broken record anymore but instead you will hear the screams of a triumphant successful woman.
Yes. You will.
April 29, 2011
April 28, 2011
Last minute shopping ideas...
I don't often give advice on this blog (instead I usually beg my readers for it) but for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop today I have decided that it's time to give back. So, for those of you who might be in need of some last minute gift ideas for the Royal Wedding...
My ten gift ideas are:
1. A jar of my homemade pickles. Yes, they're that good.
2. A trip to visit a Midwest farm on a perfect spring day
3. A dozen donuts baked by the Amish ladies down the road
4. A night of roasting marshmallows around a fire under a star-filled sky
5. A quilt made by women from the church sewing club
6. A beautiful glass serving bowl that can only be purchased at the local hardware store
7. A bottle of Mondoro Asti (I don't care who you are, no one can turn this stuff down)
8. A basket, straight from my garden, of fresh corn on the cob, vine ripened tomatoes, new potatoes, and crisp cucumbers
9. A double batch of my mother's fabulous rhubarb crisp
10. A bit of sanity (this might be hard to find so start shopping early)
And remember, a thank-you note is not necessary.
My ten gift ideas are:
1. A jar of my homemade pickles. Yes, they're that good.
2. A trip to visit a Midwest farm on a perfect spring day
3. A dozen donuts baked by the Amish ladies down the road
4. A night of roasting marshmallows around a fire under a star-filled sky
5. A quilt made by women from the church sewing club
6. A beautiful glass serving bowl that can only be purchased at the local hardware store
7. A bottle of Mondoro Asti (I don't care who you are, no one can turn this stuff down)
8. A basket, straight from my garden, of fresh corn on the cob, vine ripened tomatoes, new potatoes, and crisp cucumbers
9. A double batch of my mother's fabulous rhubarb crisp
10. A bit of sanity (this might be hard to find so start shopping early)
And remember, a thank-you note is not necessary.
April 26, 2011
Motivational bathing...
It's hard to stay or even get motivated to do anything when all you see is rain every day. I can't take it any longer. I need some sun...and some energy! I'm having a horrible time trying to force myself to work on the stuff at the bottom of my to-do pile (you know what I'm talking about....the stuff that you'll do later and eventually that's all that's left). And when it comes to my current diet and exercise plan I'm on the verge of collapse.
Perhaps I can motivate myself with a list of some cold hard honest facts.
1. I fell from the first place spot last week in the Fat Olympics.
2. Last I checked (which was before last weekend's Easter binge) I was just 2 pounds from my first goal. That's it...2 lousy pounds.
3. I ran across a recent picture of me the other day and was appalled to see the way my neck connects to my chinS.
4. In a few weeks we're taking a short vacation and we purposely booked a hotel with a pool.
5. I'm tired of being fat. Nuff said.
If those statements aren't motivating than I don't know what is.
So, I will go refill my water, pop in a piece of gum so I can't munch on crap that I keep in my desk drawer for rainy days (which we have had way too many of lately), and look forward to a big salad tonight.
And remember...
“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar
Perhaps I can motivate myself with a list of some cold hard honest facts.
1. I fell from the first place spot last week in the Fat Olympics.
2. Last I checked (which was before last weekend's Easter binge) I was just 2 pounds from my first goal. That's it...2 lousy pounds.
3. I ran across a recent picture of me the other day and was appalled to see the way my neck connects to my chinS.
4. In a few weeks we're taking a short vacation and we purposely booked a hotel with a pool.
5. I'm tired of being fat. Nuff said.
If those statements aren't motivating than I don't know what is.
So, I will go refill my water, pop in a piece of gum so I can't munch on crap that I keep in my desk drawer for rainy days (which we have had way too many of lately), and look forward to a big salad tonight.
And remember...
“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar
April 22, 2011
Weigh-in 3b...
One of the hot topics in my office right now is "outcomes assessment," which basically means that we're looking at how well students learn and how we can change teaching methods to help them to learn better. Often associated with this discussion is the issue of getting students to become more engaged in the learning process. These topics are all very relevant and good but a positive outcome depends very heavily on one thing...that students will do their homework. What they get out of the class is directly related to the amount of effort they put in to it.
It's funny that I talk about this stuff all day long and yet I can't seem to apply it to myself. I mean, duh, do your homework, talk to the teacher if you have questions, read the assigned text, and you'll get a decent grade- that all makes perfectly obvious sense.
I'm not surprised by my weigh-in this week. After all, I didn't stick to my diet, I had some half-hearted workouts, and I broke just about all of my rules. So, that I lost nothing, nada, no weight at all was pretty much expected. What did shock me was that I didn't gain several pounds. So, I guess that's a plus.
So as it stands, I'm still 2 pounds away from my first big goal and I'm pretty sure that my two-week reign as leader of the Fat Olympics II is going to come to an end...for now. I had a very stern conversation with my flabby inner thighs this morning and I think we're all on board for next week. Watch out because next week will be different...it HAS to be. My favorite pair of dress pants finally died (one too many holes that just couldn't be fixed again) and their replacements won't fit right until I shed some more pounds.
It's funny that I talk about this stuff all day long and yet I can't seem to apply it to myself. I mean, duh, do your homework, talk to the teacher if you have questions, read the assigned text, and you'll get a decent grade- that all makes perfectly obvious sense.
I'm not surprised by my weigh-in this week. After all, I didn't stick to my diet, I had some half-hearted workouts, and I broke just about all of my rules. So, that I lost nothing, nada, no weight at all was pretty much expected. What did shock me was that I didn't gain several pounds. So, I guess that's a plus.
So as it stands, I'm still 2 pounds away from my first big goal and I'm pretty sure that my two-week reign as leader of the Fat Olympics II is going to come to an end...for now. I had a very stern conversation with my flabby inner thighs this morning and I think we're all on board for next week. Watch out because next week will be different...it HAS to be. My favorite pair of dress pants finally died (one too many holes that just couldn't be fixed again) and their replacements won't fit right until I shed some more pounds.
April 21, 2011
Advice to college students...
Thursday already? I can't believe how fast this week has gone. Crazy.
Anyway, today for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop I have chosen to give students a few words of advice. And when I say students I am referring to those darling college-aged kids that I get to surround myself with all...day...long.
I know I'm uncool. I just heard that horrible song "Friday" for the first time last night, touching the screen of my phone will only create annoying finger prints, I don't refer to music from the 90s as "retro", and I never cross the street unless the light says I can. However, if you put all of that aside, I believe my advice can still be very helpful for folks your age.
1. In an institution where faculty are required to teach in order to make tenure, if you happen to run across a full professor who is still teaching consider that to be your lucky day. Chances are they're teaching not as a requirement but because they are truly passionate about education and learning and YOU. Please listen to them. Ask them for help when you need it. And, by all means, follow their instructions. They know what they're talking about.
2. It might be okay to send messages to your friends in "text lingo" but this type of writing is completely unacceptable on papers, emails to professors and administrators, and applications. Learn how to speak and write properly.
3. Do yourself a favor and get a part-time job. But, not at a bar.
4. Texting might be faster but email will never go away. Try telling your future boss that you didn't get their message because you prefer not to use email but you'll respond to a text. Folks, check your email. In fact, I urge you to even read and respond to your emails. I know this might be a novel idea but I'm sure after a bit of practice you'll be emailing just like a pro (again).
5. Listening to rap music blasting for three hours is not the way most of us envision spending our afternoons. Please kindly remember that you're on a campus that employees several thousand people, and most of us are trying to work and find it difficult to concentrate when Snoop is discussing the finer points of rollin'.
6. Bars are closed to people under 21 after 10:00 pm for a reason. Actually, there are several reasons, most of which are pretty obvious. So, I'll spare you the details but at least tell you this, we want you to be safe and healthy. We don't need to be ranked among the top party schools (according to Playboy Magazine) anymore. This is why the laws have changed, not because we hate you (although sometimes we do find you a bit annoying but that's whole other discussion).
7. Buses don't stop for pretty girls. You will get hit if you try to walk in front of one.
8. When you come to college please plan on studying more than you did in high school. Everyone hears this but it's odd that such a large number of students don't actually believe it until they get here. We're not just blowing smoke up your stack when we tell you that each credit hour requires at least 2 hours of work outside of class. Trust me on this one.
9. Ladies, just because you come from a large city that offers a full array of shopping choices this does not mean that everything you own is acceptable attire in a classroom. You're not doing anyone any favors by attending class wearing nothing but a short skirt and a handkerchief tied around your torso. Save that little gem outfit for the bars (but before 10:00, of course).
10. And finally, take this golden opportunity to learn all that you can, whenever you can, from whomever you can. College truly is one of the most exciting times in life but it is limited so use your time wisely.
Anyway, today for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop I have chosen to give students a few words of advice. And when I say students I am referring to those darling college-aged kids that I get to surround myself with all...day...long.
I know I'm uncool. I just heard that horrible song "Friday" for the first time last night, touching the screen of my phone will only create annoying finger prints, I don't refer to music from the 90s as "retro", and I never cross the street unless the light says I can. However, if you put all of that aside, I believe my advice can still be very helpful for folks your age.
1. In an institution where faculty are required to teach in order to make tenure, if you happen to run across a full professor who is still teaching consider that to be your lucky day. Chances are they're teaching not as a requirement but because they are truly passionate about education and learning and YOU. Please listen to them. Ask them for help when you need it. And, by all means, follow their instructions. They know what they're talking about.
2. It might be okay to send messages to your friends in "text lingo" but this type of writing is completely unacceptable on papers, emails to professors and administrators, and applications. Learn how to speak and write properly.
3. Do yourself a favor and get a part-time job. But, not at a bar.
4. Texting might be faster but email will never go away. Try telling your future boss that you didn't get their message because you prefer not to use email but you'll respond to a text. Folks, check your email. In fact, I urge you to even read and respond to your emails. I know this might be a novel idea but I'm sure after a bit of practice you'll be emailing just like a pro (again).
5. Listening to rap music blasting for three hours is not the way most of us envision spending our afternoons. Please kindly remember that you're on a campus that employees several thousand people, and most of us are trying to work and find it difficult to concentrate when Snoop is discussing the finer points of rollin'.
6. Bars are closed to people under 21 after 10:00 pm for a reason. Actually, there are several reasons, most of which are pretty obvious. So, I'll spare you the details but at least tell you this, we want you to be safe and healthy. We don't need to be ranked among the top party schools (according to Playboy Magazine) anymore. This is why the laws have changed, not because we hate you (although sometimes we do find you a bit annoying but that's whole other discussion).
7. Buses don't stop for pretty girls. You will get hit if you try to walk in front of one.
8. When you come to college please plan on studying more than you did in high school. Everyone hears this but it's odd that such a large number of students don't actually believe it until they get here. We're not just blowing smoke up your stack when we tell you that each credit hour requires at least 2 hours of work outside of class. Trust me on this one.
9. Ladies, just because you come from a large city that offers a full array of shopping choices this does not mean that everything you own is acceptable attire in a classroom. You're not doing anyone any favors by attending class wearing nothing but a short skirt and a handkerchief tied around your torso. Save that little gem outfit for the bars (but before 10:00, of course).
10. And finally, take this golden opportunity to learn all that you can, whenever you can, from whomever you can. College truly is one of the most exciting times in life but it is limited so use your time wisely.
April 20, 2011
I failed miserably on my diet today. I got ticked off at someone so in retaliation I skipped my walk over lunch and bought a bag of combos and took the elevator (instead of the stairs) back to my office. And the thing that really irks me is that I'm currently in first place and the person in second is closing in FAST. Whoever invented the "I'll show you, I'll hurt me" mentality must have been an angry woman on a diet. No other sane person could have come up with something so stupid.
To combat my frustration with my co-worker and myself I'm posting a few recent pictures of my little Rachel because when I look at her I can't help but smile.
To combat my frustration with my co-worker and myself I'm posting a few recent pictures of my little Rachel because when I look at her I can't help but smile.
April 19, 2011
I fall to pieces...
Oh Wise Readers, I need you to help me with a few things. Not surprisingly, they both involve food (I'm so tired of fighting with food).
I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I'm not a perfect mother. I keep my house clean and my laundry caught up but when it comes to meals I am a mess. Here's where I need the most help (right now anyway):
1. Every weekend I fall apart. I start out with the best of intentions and by Sunday evening I'm on the couch with a bag of potato chips (which is odd because I don't even remember ever buying chips). Friday night is pizza and movie night at our house, it always has been and always will be. Oh, and making "healthy" pizza isn't an option because, well...I'm not really into strange ingredients on my pizza and Jake is even more against it. On Saturday I can usually stick with my diet until about 6:00 pm. That's when the craziness of the day (and the week) finally catches up with me and we either go out to eat or have some kind of social engagement that requires us to eat. So, by Sunday Noon I pretty much throw caution to the wind and fall off my diet completely. And, it's the same story every Monday morning...I step on the scale and see that I have gained back a few pounds and have to start all over again. I've lost the same 2 pounds at least 4 times in the past 3 months. I need a game plan. Or, if nothing else, I need someone else to admit to this problem so I don't feel quite so guilty.
2. There are days that I throw my hands in the air in frustration and wonder if the three of us will EVER eat a normal meal together. When I say "normal" I mean will we ever all sit down at the table at the same time and consume the same things? Will Rachel ever make the transition from her weirdo diet of Mandarin oranges, peas, and yogurt to eating regular meals like the rest of us? If so, how does one go about accomplishing this? And, as much as I would like to be a super star mom I have to admit that more often than not we arrive home and I have no idea what to make for supper (or dinner, or whatever everyone calls that meal). By the time I get it figured out, Rachel is done eating- which leaves Jake and I to either make an attempt at eating a civilized meal while she circles the table or we just wait until after she goes to bed and eat in front of the TV. A good game plan (or a promise that this will eventually get better) would also be nice for this situation. And P.S., I've tried making a meal the night before (or on weekends) but one can only consume so many casseroles and thawed meals. Plus, who has time to make all that food?!
Any takers on tackling these issues?
Anyone?
I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I'm not a perfect mother. I keep my house clean and my laundry caught up but when it comes to meals I am a mess. Here's where I need the most help (right now anyway):
1. Every weekend I fall apart. I start out with the best of intentions and by Sunday evening I'm on the couch with a bag of potato chips (which is odd because I don't even remember ever buying chips). Friday night is pizza and movie night at our house, it always has been and always will be. Oh, and making "healthy" pizza isn't an option because, well...I'm not really into strange ingredients on my pizza and Jake is even more against it. On Saturday I can usually stick with my diet until about 6:00 pm. That's when the craziness of the day (and the week) finally catches up with me and we either go out to eat or have some kind of social engagement that requires us to eat. So, by Sunday Noon I pretty much throw caution to the wind and fall off my diet completely. And, it's the same story every Monday morning...I step on the scale and see that I have gained back a few pounds and have to start all over again. I've lost the same 2 pounds at least 4 times in the past 3 months. I need a game plan. Or, if nothing else, I need someone else to admit to this problem so I don't feel quite so guilty.
2. There are days that I throw my hands in the air in frustration and wonder if the three of us will EVER eat a normal meal together. When I say "normal" I mean will we ever all sit down at the table at the same time and consume the same things? Will Rachel ever make the transition from her weirdo diet of Mandarin oranges, peas, and yogurt to eating regular meals like the rest of us? If so, how does one go about accomplishing this? And, as much as I would like to be a super star mom I have to admit that more often than not we arrive home and I have no idea what to make for supper (or dinner, or whatever everyone calls that meal). By the time I get it figured out, Rachel is done eating- which leaves Jake and I to either make an attempt at eating a civilized meal while she circles the table or we just wait until after she goes to bed and eat in front of the TV. A good game plan (or a promise that this will eventually get better) would also be nice for this situation. And P.S., I've tried making a meal the night before (or on weekends) but one can only consume so many casseroles and thawed meals. Plus, who has time to make all that food?!
Any takers on tackling these issues?
Anyone?
April 15, 2011
Weigh-in 2b...
I actually had to dig my winter coat out of the back of the closet this morning. Isn't that just disgusting?! And Rachel cried when she had to put her winter coat on, even though it's an extremely adorable pink one. She might only be 15 months old but she still knows what a winter coat means....no playing outside today because it's too freakin cold.
Last weekend I pigged out on Saturday and ate a "famous one-pound burrito", which is every bit as delicious as it sounds. It occurred to me this morning that I have lost the equivalent of 17 of those since February. Wow! No wonder my clothes are starting to fit better.
And, Even though I stuffed myself at a buffet one night this week (to celebrate Jake's 30th birthday) I managed to drop two more pounds.
I'm SOOOOOO close to my first goal. Maybe next week I'll be able to celebrate meeting that goal....by eating another one-pound burrito!
Last weekend I pigged out on Saturday and ate a "famous one-pound burrito", which is every bit as delicious as it sounds. It occurred to me this morning that I have lost the equivalent of 17 of those since February. Wow! No wonder my clothes are starting to fit better.
And, Even though I stuffed myself at a buffet one night this week (to celebrate Jake's 30th birthday) I managed to drop two more pounds.
I'm SOOOOOO close to my first goal. Maybe next week I'll be able to celebrate meeting that goal....by eating another one-pound burrito!
April 14, 2011
All grown up...
Today's Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop wants me to write about the moment I realized I was a grown up. The problem is, I've felt myself slipping into adulthood since I was 20. I fought growing up but unfortunately I can't fight growing old. As we get older we become more mature (That's how it works, right?). I did a lot of growing up in my twenties and that's when I started to realize that it was happening....I was growing up and growing older.
Me at age 22: “Honey, do you mind if we stop at this store [at the mall]?”
Future husband at age 21: “Aren’t you too old to shop here?”
And note, he was completely serious.
Me at age 23: “You know, I think I would rather just stay home tonight. I hate going downtown on weekends. I feel so old when I go there.”
Friend at age 24: “No kidding, I think we would be the oldest people down there. Let’s rent a movie instead.”
Me at age 24: “Do you want to see my ID?”
Waitress at what I presume was about age 19: “No.”
Ouch!
Me at age 25: “Alright, my car insurance premiums just went down!”
Really? Is it THAT exciting? Yes, yes it is.
Me at age 26: “Wait, what?! What do you mean there’s a generation Y AND a Z too?! And they’re in this classroom?”
Professor: Yes, and I believe you’re part of generation X, correct?
Me at age 27: “Why do people feel the need to drive so fast? What’s wrong with them….look, just look at that…you know, that’s why gas is so expensive, because people drive like maniacs.”
Husband at age 26: “No kidding”
Me at age 28: “We probably shouldn’t have bought that TV. It really was a very irresponsible purchase. You know, 10 years ago I wouldn’t have had buyer’s remorse for spending too much money on a TV.”
Nephew at age 8: “But it’s so awesome!”
Me at age 29: “I’m too old to be pregnant.”
Husband at age 28: “Honey, you’re too old to be a lot of things.”
Me at age 30: “Everything hurts.”
Body: Yep. That’s because you’re old.
Me at age 22: “Honey, do you mind if we stop at this store [at the mall]?”
Future husband at age 21: “Aren’t you too old to shop here?”
And note, he was completely serious.
Me at age 23: “You know, I think I would rather just stay home tonight. I hate going downtown on weekends. I feel so old when I go there.”
Friend at age 24: “No kidding, I think we would be the oldest people down there. Let’s rent a movie instead.”
Me at age 24: “Do you want to see my ID?”
Waitress at what I presume was about age 19: “No.”
Ouch!
Me at age 25: “Alright, my car insurance premiums just went down!”
Really? Is it THAT exciting? Yes, yes it is.
Me at age 26: “Wait, what?! What do you mean there’s a generation Y AND a Z too?! And they’re in this classroom?”
Professor: Yes, and I believe you’re part of generation X, correct?
Me at age 27: “Why do people feel the need to drive so fast? What’s wrong with them….look, just look at that…you know, that’s why gas is so expensive, because people drive like maniacs.”
Husband at age 26: “No kidding”
Me at age 28: “We probably shouldn’t have bought that TV. It really was a very irresponsible purchase. You know, 10 years ago I wouldn’t have had buyer’s remorse for spending too much money on a TV.”
Nephew at age 8: “But it’s so awesome!”
Me at age 29: “I’m too old to be pregnant.”
Husband at age 28: “Honey, you’re too old to be a lot of things.”
Me at age 30: “Everything hurts.”
Body: Yep. That’s because you’re old.
April 13, 2011
This week, I've been blessed because...
These days it's a struggle to keep from drowning in my stress let alone find time to type a blog post. How sad. Blogging is supposed to be therapeutic and calming...sounds exactly like what I need right now.
It's Working Mom's Wednesday and today my favorite working mom, Julia, has asked us to put aside our worries and focus instead on our blessings.
This week I'm blessed because...
1. I have a job to complain about.
2. I'm wearing pants that I couldn't even zip up a few months ago.
3. My husband has FINALLY joined the ranks of adulthood and is turning 30 today (Yes folks, when your husband is younger than you, being able to remind him that he too is getting older is a blessing).
4. My daughter loves wagon rides, daffodils, and family just as much as I do.
5. I have friends who take time out of their busy lives to get together and just enjoy each other's company.
6. The proposed budget for next year actually has a line item that reads, "Angie- Travel/Professional Development"
7. I have scheduled a trip to the zoo for our family this spring- our first REAL vacation.
8. The sun is shining, the grass is green, and the sky is blue.
9. Someone found a student employee to alphabetize 243 folders for me...and they just dropped the box off and it's beautiful!
10. I live in a country that is so wealthy we actually GET to go on diets (I should just keep telling myself that...right?).
It's Working Mom's Wednesday and today my favorite working mom, Julia, has asked us to put aside our worries and focus instead on our blessings.
This week I'm blessed because...
1. I have a job to complain about.
2. I'm wearing pants that I couldn't even zip up a few months ago.
3. My husband has FINALLY joined the ranks of adulthood and is turning 30 today (Yes folks, when your husband is younger than you, being able to remind him that he too is getting older is a blessing).
4. My daughter loves wagon rides, daffodils, and family just as much as I do.
5. I have friends who take time out of their busy lives to get together and just enjoy each other's company.
6. The proposed budget for next year actually has a line item that reads, "Angie- Travel/Professional Development"
7. I have scheduled a trip to the zoo for our family this spring- our first REAL vacation.
8. The sun is shining, the grass is green, and the sky is blue.
9. Someone found a student employee to alphabetize 243 folders for me...and they just dropped the box off and it's beautiful!
10. I live in a country that is so wealthy we actually GET to go on diets (I should just keep telling myself that...right?).
April 9, 2011
Weigh-in 1b...
My first weigh-in for the second Fat Olympics was due yesterday, and I have to say that I am quite proud of what I have accomplished so far. Now, I should say right up front that my method for losing weight this week was probably not the most healthy. But, I REALLY needed to see that it truly is possible for the scale to move down. If you have ever struggled with your weight then you know what I'm talking about.
So...
1. I wore a pair of jeans on Friday night that I have not worn since May 2009 (at the very beginning of my pregnancy)...and I could even breathe and everything.
2. I stuck to my guns all week and didn't cheat once...until Friday. Who can turn down a GIANT monster cookie on a Friday afternoon?
3. I got some form of exercise for at least 20 minutes twice a day. Pulling a child in a wagon through a mole infested yard counts, right?
4. I drank and drank and drank and DRANK water...and even took time out of my busy day to run to the bathroom.
5. I lost 10 pounds last week. Yea me.
I have pulled within 5 pounds of my first goal. Amazing huh? Now, if I can just keep my body from staging a revolt next week. You know how it goes....you follow the same regimen two weeks in a row and loose 5 pounds one week and gain 10 the next. That's the part I'm dreading. Well, that and having to pull Rachel's wagon up a mole infested hill again.
So...
1. I wore a pair of jeans on Friday night that I have not worn since May 2009 (at the very beginning of my pregnancy)...and I could even breathe and everything.
2. I stuck to my guns all week and didn't cheat once...until Friday. Who can turn down a GIANT monster cookie on a Friday afternoon?
3. I got some form of exercise for at least 20 minutes twice a day. Pulling a child in a wagon through a mole infested yard counts, right?
4. I drank and drank and drank and DRANK water...and even took time out of my busy day to run to the bathroom.
5. I lost 10 pounds last week. Yea me.
I have pulled within 5 pounds of my first goal. Amazing huh? Now, if I can just keep my body from staging a revolt next week. You know how it goes....you follow the same regimen two weeks in a row and loose 5 pounds one week and gain 10 the next. That's the part I'm dreading. Well, that and having to pull Rachel's wagon up a mole infested hill again.
April 5, 2011
Living on a prayer...
I am afraid of lots of things....driving on icy roads, tornadoes, cancer, financial short-falls...you name it and I have, probably at least once, been afraid of it.
Now I have one more thing to add to my list. Last night I watched a show about people who grew up perfectly normal, struggled at times with their weight, had a few pregnancies or other life-altering events along the way, and woke up one day at 375 pounds.
Folks, that could be me... and that terrifies me. I could see myself in those people's faces and hear my voice in their words. I am more than several pounds over my "I'll never cross that line" weight, have yet to lose my baby fat, and recently started buying clothes at the other end of the rack. People have told me, "Oh, you don't need to worry...you would never let yourself get that heavy." It's awful nice of them to say that but the thing is....they're just words. It really does take serious action on my part and I'm not sure I have it in me.
I've joined the Fat Olympics II and this time it's 8 weeks (by the way, Theresa, your check is almost in the mail). This time it needs to be different. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that heavy people are bad and I certainly have nothing against them. But, I know that if I ever reach 300 pounds I may not have the strength to come back.
For lunch today I packed a whole lotta celery and a prayer.
Now I have one more thing to add to my list. Last night I watched a show about people who grew up perfectly normal, struggled at times with their weight, had a few pregnancies or other life-altering events along the way, and woke up one day at 375 pounds.
Folks, that could be me... and that terrifies me. I could see myself in those people's faces and hear my voice in their words. I am more than several pounds over my "I'll never cross that line" weight, have yet to lose my baby fat, and recently started buying clothes at the other end of the rack. People have told me, "Oh, you don't need to worry...you would never let yourself get that heavy." It's awful nice of them to say that but the thing is....they're just words. It really does take serious action on my part and I'm not sure I have it in me.
I've joined the Fat Olympics II and this time it's 8 weeks (by the way, Theresa, your check is almost in the mail). This time it needs to be different. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that heavy people are bad and I certainly have nothing against them. But, I know that if I ever reach 300 pounds I may not have the strength to come back.
For lunch today I packed a whole lotta celery and a prayer.
April 1, 2011
Put that soda down...
I'm fat...but I can change....if I have to...I guess.
Dear Lord, Please Please PLEASE help me to become more motivated. This is just getting ridiculous. For almost my entire life I've struggled with my weight and was always quite motivated to work at losing whenever I needed to. In fact, my husband once assured me that he was okay with my weight (the highest I had ever been at that time) because he was confident that I could lose it.
The times, they have changed. I know that I can work at it. I know that I can do it. I know that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Here's the problem....for the first time in my life I'm okay with my weight. I don't necessarily like it but I also don't feel self-conscience about it and I don't find myself standing in department stores in tears because my pants won't fit. That's healthy, right? It's healthy to be okay with yourself, right? I mean, 15 years ago I would have LOVED to feel this way about being me.
BUT that's the thing. I'm not healthy. I'm not at a good weight. How did this happen? How did I find myself FINALLY happy in my own skin but not at a healthy weight? I'm happier now than I was 50 pounds ago. ugh!!!!!!!
God, please help me. I KNOW that I need help. I KNOW that I need to get healthy. I KNOW that I need motivation. And, perhaps equally as important....I KNOW that I could use $300 in prize money.
Fat Olympics II- And so it begins (again)...
Dear Lord, Please Please PLEASE help me to become more motivated. This is just getting ridiculous. For almost my entire life I've struggled with my weight and was always quite motivated to work at losing whenever I needed to. In fact, my husband once assured me that he was okay with my weight (the highest I had ever been at that time) because he was confident that I could lose it.
The times, they have changed. I know that I can work at it. I know that I can do it. I know that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Here's the problem....for the first time in my life I'm okay with my weight. I don't necessarily like it but I also don't feel self-conscience about it and I don't find myself standing in department stores in tears because my pants won't fit. That's healthy, right? It's healthy to be okay with yourself, right? I mean, 15 years ago I would have LOVED to feel this way about being me.
BUT that's the thing. I'm not healthy. I'm not at a good weight. How did this happen? How did I find myself FINALLY happy in my own skin but not at a healthy weight? I'm happier now than I was 50 pounds ago. ugh!!!!!!!
God, please help me. I KNOW that I need help. I KNOW that I need to get healthy. I KNOW that I need motivation. And, perhaps equally as important....I KNOW that I could use $300 in prize money.
Fat Olympics II- And so it begins (again)...
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