This week’s Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Entry. Today’s assignment, write an open letter to a celebrity…
I’ll be honest. I don’t watch your show and frankly, can’t stand you. The fact that one woman has the ability to manipulate society is almost frightening. However, the truth is, you have a lot of power and money and seem to really enjoy helping people. I think it’s safe to assume that you don’t expect everyone to like you and surely not everyone you have ever helped was a fan. In fact, we’re both adults, I have full confidence that we can get past the disgust I have for your show and dive into the heart of the matter here…me.
I’m a new mom. I’m tired and stressed, I could use a manicure and I need to lose about 40 pounds. My house is clean right now but I can tell that it’s on the verge of utter disaster and I can’t seem to keep up on my laundry so I could really use a maid and possibly a stiff drink. I work full-time and my husband is a busy student so when I get home I still have another four hours of work ahead of me. You know, the kind of work that only a mom can do. I love my little girl very much but I find myself looking forward to her bedtime so I can sit down for a few minutes before I go to bed and do the whole thing all over again the next day.
I’m not asking for much. It’s not like I need a new house (we probably can’t afford the taxes anyway) or a new car (although I could use something a little newer than the 1998 SUV we drive). I just need my sanity back. I feel a little silly writing to you, almost like a kid who is writing to Santa Claus but you probably wouldn’t be caught dead in a trashy sleigh on a cold December night would you?
So anyway, if you decide to help me out then maybe, just maybe, my opinion of you might change. If not, that’s fine too. You would feel all warm and fuzzy from doing another good deed and I would benefit from your generosity. So, really it would be a win-win for both of us.
P.S. You probably don’t remember it but my friend ran into you on an elevator once in Chicago. She says hello.