August 31, 2010

Dear oprah...

This week’s Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Entry. Today’s assignment, write an open letter to a celebrity…

Dear Oprah,

I’ll be honest. I don’t watch your show and frankly, can’t stand you. The fact that one woman has the ability to manipulate society is almost frightening. However, the truth is, you have a lot of power and money and seem to really enjoy helping people. I think it’s safe to assume that you don’t expect everyone to like you and surely not everyone you have ever helped was a fan. In fact, we’re both adults, I have full confidence that we can get past the disgust I have for your show and dive into the heart of the matter here…me.

I’m a new mom. I’m tired and stressed, I could use a manicure and I need to lose about 40 pounds. My house is clean right now but I can tell that it’s on the verge of utter disaster and I can’t seem to keep up on my laundry so I could really use a maid and possibly a stiff drink. I work full-time and my husband is a busy student so when I get home I still have another four hours of work ahead of me. You know, the kind of work that only a mom can do. I love my little girl very much but I find myself looking forward to her bedtime so I can sit down for a few minutes before I go to bed and do the whole thing all over again the next day.

I’m not asking for much. It’s not like I need a new house (we probably can’t afford the taxes anyway) or a new car (although I could use something a little newer than the 1998 SUV we drive). I just need my sanity back. I feel a little silly writing to you, almost like a kid who is writing to Santa Claus but you probably wouldn’t be caught dead in a trashy sleigh on a cold December night would you?

So anyway, if you decide to help me out then maybe, just maybe, my opinion of you might change. If not, that’s fine too. You would feel all warm and fuzzy from doing another good deed and I would benefit from your generosity. So, really it would be a win-win for both of us.


P.S. You probably don’t remember it but my friend ran into you on an elevator once in Chicago. She says hello.


  1. You are so funny Angie! When you get the help from Oprah can you send her my way? :-)

  2. Thanks Althea. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Tell your friends. :)

    I'll get Oprah to help us all!

  3. Enjoyed reading!
    I don't like Oprah much but admire few things about her (one you have already mentioned).
    Hope you get all the help from her soon...And after that please do send her my

    Have a great day!

  4. Another funny post Angie! I used to like Oprah until she really seemed to believe her own hype. Never a good thing. Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!

  5. Hope she helps you soon. She's not doing her show anymore, right? She's got PLENTY of time to help you out.

  6. Visiting from MamaKat's today. Great post. Funny!

  7. Hi Angie,
    Found you through mama kat's. Great letter! I wouldn't mind a little somethin somethin with that sanity Miss Oprah. I mean come on a million dollars is like pocket change for her I'm only askin' for 1000!!

  8. Oh, I wish Fairy Godmother Oprah would visit me too! I feel your pain lady. I really do.

  9. You don't know how many times I have wanted to write a celebrity and ask if they could spare a hundred thou or so out of their millions to help my family!

    I don't like Oprah either. She's never married and has no children, and as much as she tries to pretend, she is NOT like me.

  10. Funny read, what is the deal with her trying to be Dr Phil number 2
    Thanks for stopping by my blog:)