August 14, 2010

My hero...

There are a lot of things I hate. I hate it when someone takes the stall next to mine in an otherwise empty public restroom (speaking of restrooms, I also hate it when people use their cell phones in public restrooms, and I have been known to flush the toilet continuously until they get the hint and either leave or hang up). I also can't stand it when I call a new phone number and get an answering machine that just says, "Thanks for calling 555-5555, please leave a message." Yes, I know that's the number I called, but is it the right person? People, please include your name on your answering machine. I am also in an ongoing battle against the world and have vowed to one day rid it not of evil but of stupidity, and when I'm President (please vote for me) I will require all parents to have a parenting license before they can take their children home from the hospital (including myself).

However, nothing can compete with the level of rage that is generated by weeds. If I ever get a chance to go back in time I would like the opportunity to have a few words with Adam, the idiot who ruined one of the best things he had going for him. I know that I have mentioned my pathetically weedy garden before but everyone expects weeds in a garden, especially mine. What I'm referring to here are the ones that are trying to surround and possibly destroy my sidewalks.

The lovely folks who lived in our home before us obviously had no desire to keep the sidewalks clear of weeds. In fact, I have to wonder if they even used them (I can’t wait to tell you more about the previous renters). I, however, am determined to keep our walks from disappearing. Every few weeks I clear the growth between each sorry concrete slab, and often wonder why they are so narrow. This morning I went out to pull just a few weeds, and an hour later I was sucking for air, dripping in sweat and feeling a small sense of pride....I have finally found the edges of the sidewalks! And, guess what....they're almost twice as wide as I thought! Can you imagine?

Jake claims that it looks like I destroyed part of the yard. I didn't. I went up against my arch enemy and defeated it. I believe some would refer to this as being a hero.

No comments:

Post a Comment